I'm learning once again just to sit back, chill, and let God be God. I get frustrated easily when God prompts me in a certain direction, I run with it, and then He decides He doesn't really want to do it that way. Here is a link to a previous post where I "learned" this lesson.
say what
And sometimes I get easily frustrated when I think I know what he's doing, and then he does it another way,- without telling me anything about it, so I panic thinking nothing is getting done. Here's a link to that lesson "learned"
Joshua
The only thing that keeps me going these days is the fact that I'm an old lady and have had a few year with the Lord under my belt. And when I look back I can see how he has come through for me in other areas,-and that reassures me that he will come through in my current struggles as well.
The one I keep thinking about is about his provision.He started speaking to me years ago about living debt free. I didn't have a lot of debt really, but took this into consideration.
"Do you mean, like, bad debt? Like credit card debt? Or do you mean, like all debt, like even normal people debt?You and I both know there is a difference. Even financial ad visors tell you debt on mortgages aren't really bad because you are investing in something that appreciates, and you can sell it and recoup your money. So that's not a bad debt. Right? I mean how do you ever own anything if you don't take a loan? You can't just pay for a house in cash."
He didn't answer.But it kept coming up.
So I worked hard to finish my car payments, and doubled up on some student loan payments until it was done. Well since I don't carry credit card debt that only left the mortgage on my condo. And of course I did those little tricks like paying on the 15th to trim the years off, or pay on the principal. But He and I both knew it was going to take a while to pay that off.So before I went to Africa he made me sell it, along with my car.
"Well..okay...I'm debt-free now... but I don't own anything..."
And of course I'd gone from my already low-paying teaching job to a non-paying missionary job.
To add insult to injury the Lord often prompted me to give money away during this time. Yeah, to just random people who'd I encounter who needed financial help in this area or that area. He'd tell me to give them $X amount with a heavy conviction in my heart until I did.
And last year when I heard that I was returning to the US, He told me to give away all of my African things.
"What? give it away? I have to sell it so I can start over, there. You made me get rid of everything. How am I suppose to get a car and a apartment and furnishings?"
But once again it was that obedience thing."
Fine I'll do it."
And it was 3 months later that my dad died and my brother offered me his half of the house and truck at a dirt cheap price.And just like that, I owned a house, all the furnishings, and a truck debt free.Just like the Lord had encouraged me to aim for years ago.
How does that happen?!!!!!!!! That's crazy!!!!!
From the world's perspective, I seemed to be going in the opposite direction,- no official job, giving stuff away, selling off assets.
Yet God worked it out.
Now, as I sit watching news reports of family after family loosing homes to foreclosures, or dropping home values, I am grateful that He removed that mindset that mortgages are necessary and harmless.
So daily I'm reflecting on this example that God does work it out,- even if I don't understand what his plan it. He's setting things in motion even if I can't see what he's doing.
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