Monday, October 06, 2008

Pride is spelled P-r-i-i-i-i-i-d-e

I’ve had one of those spiritual weeks where I feel like crap. Do you ever have seasons like that?
For example, the other day I left my teachers meeting and headed towards Mbabane quickly. The Malagwan Hill is still under construction and you are guaranteed to get stuck for at least 20 minutes on the way up. If you hit at 5 O’clock rush hour, you’ll be there until dawn.
So at 4:05 I was high tailing it out of Manzini. I could just make it before it got too bad.
I got just a few kilometers down the highway before I hit traffic.
There was a wreck.
Of course there was.
We’ve all heard of Murphy’s Law. I’m convinced Murphy lived in Africa.
People were all standing on the shoulder of the road, and there turned over car on the edge. One lane was closed and everyone was merging to the right.
Well of course just as I was approaching, this massive truck came against traffic, stopping everything so they could turn the car back over. It had some big crane thingy that reached an arm over the closed left lane and then had chains to hook on to the car. As they did all of this the cop decided to let traffic pass under the arm to keep traffic flowing. The line in front of me was two cars, a bus, another car and me.
The two cars in front went quickly but there was no way the bus was going to fit under the arm.
It was obvious to everyone except the bus driver. He wanted to give it a try. The cop stopped him and was waving his arms. He kept motioning for him to pull off to the side and let everyone behind him by.
Nope, the bus driver was insistent that he could fit that big ole bus under the crane arm. So the two of them sat arguing while the rest of us tiny cars waited, unable to go.
You stupid bus driver! Why are you such an idiot? There is no way that bus is gonna fit! Get out of the way and let me through!!!! (You can imagine I grumbled a few other words, but this is a family-friendly blog, so I’ll keep it clean.)
Finally the bus driver conceded and moved to the side. But… you guessed it. By now they had finished rigging up the chains so they had to turn the car over.
No more passing.
@$%#!!!!!!!!! %#^$&%^#!!!!!!!! &*@%^#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try as they might, they couldn’t flip the car back over. In fact they only succeeded in spinning it on its roof, so now it had its butt end hanging out into the once empty passable left lane.
No more passing…ever.
Eventually, before I had a heart attack they unhooked the chains, and the big massive truck moved so we, including the stupid bus driver, could drive through the right lane again.
Finally!!!!
I hit the gas and zoomed past the wreckage. And just as I passed the turned car, I felt God speak to my spirit, “Did you even pray for that person in the car?”
I was one of those moments that you glimpse yourself in a spiritual mirror and shudder at what you see.
It had never even occurred to me that there was a person involved.
Of course there was. Cars don’t flip themselves. I’d seen the ambulance there. There was a person involved. A person who matters to God. But that nameless, faceless person never even entered my mind.
Were they killed? Were they thrown out in the roll? Were they still trapped inside? … I don’t know.
I don’t know because I never even considered them. I was only concerned with myself. And I drove the rest of the way home with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I wish that was the only time something like that happened, but it wasn’t. Time after time this week, the Lord has stopped me and shown me the pride and self-centeredness within me. It is so ugly, and so very humbling. In Christy’s world, it’s all about Christy.
I’ve just been clinging to Ezekiel 11:18-20 “… they will remove every trace of their detestable idol worship. I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them I will take away their hearts of stone and give them tender heart instead. So they will obey my laws and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.”

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