Extending the Olive branch

These last few weeks have been very hard for me.
I just feel like I've been taken out of everything I was doing...and for what?
I spend my days very low key filled with things that don't really make a difference. The only one who really benefits from my existence here in the states on a regular basis is Jabu.
I've tried subbing, but really feel like the Lord has taken me out of that.
I tried volunteering but it doesn't ever seem to work out.
I've had no desire to study or write.
Now I'm not a person who finds her value or identity in what she does, but I've been so frustrated doing nothing. Sure I can find things to fill my time, but it seems purposeless. I still have the desire to love and effect people, yet I spend an overwhelming amount of time alone.
And last week it all just came to a head. I'd had enough.
"Lord why am I here? Why not just leave me in Africa? Everyday I touched some one's life. I had an effect for you kingdom. Now.... I matter to a cat. Why did you bring me back here? Why didn't you just leave me in Africa. At least I'd be making a difference for your kingdom."

And finally yesterday there was a little tug towards my bible. I sat with laptop and notebook and started researching trees in the bible (okay I'm a nerd) but discovered this about olive trees:
Olive trees begin to produce olives at 6-10 years and have their highest yield at about 45-50 years. After that it will decline. So farmers cut off every branch leaving a stump and then often will even cut the stump down.
It stands there looking dead
Then it begins to shoot sprouts, and the sprouts will bear fruit, in more abundance than before,for another 50 years.
(Then a shoot will spring from the stem of Jesse, And a branch from his roots will bear fruit. Ish 11:1 This prophecy illustrates this concept.)
Somehow this gave me peace. Every branch I've had in the past has been cut off, but it's not in vain. The next season will come, and my fruit will be even more productive.
I can accept this as I wait.