Too much stuff!

From Dec '03 to may '04 I had a time of abundant blessing. The Lord just
"opened the gates of heaven and poured out his blessing with such abundance that I didn't have room to store it"(to paraphrase Mal 3:10). I mean, I'm
talking thousands of dollars rolling in from nowhere,
a free laptop, plane tickets given to me, my house, I
was shown favor in the most unlikely places etc. etc.
I couldn't even believe it,- my head was spinning!
When it first started I thought, "Oh wow God thanks for_____ that's really cool."
Then as it went on I thought, "Wow God is so awesome, He just keeps blessing
me."
But as it went on and on and on ironically, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. Yeah, who would
have thought? I started to hear about others around the world who had less, or friends who were
struggling, and yet here I was getting more and more from God.
So at one point I was telling God, "Thanks God, but really,- you don't have to do any more.
You've given me enough..." And yet the blessings kept coming.
One day I said, "Okay God, that's enough I really don't deserve all of these new blessing..." And
I just sensed him say to me, "You never really deserved any of it. I give these because I love you."
I guess when it was just one little gift given from God, I'd felt that somehow I'd earned it. Perhaps I'd said
the right thing or helped the right person, or maybe pulled the arm on the heavenly slot
machine,- somehow I had done something that had "earned" God's blessings in my life. It wasn't until
that day that I'd realized that God gives to us because He is good,- not because we are.
Look for God's blessing today and thank him for his
generosity,- even when we don't deserve it.

D'OH

Crap.
I hate that feeling… You're proud of your accomplishments and then get humbled. I thought I had it, - and this morning I'd stood corrected.
Just last night I posted my list of 101 things to accomplish by the time I turn 30. It was a fun making it. I confess a lot of these things I've wanted to do for a while so putting it in writing and publishing it made it more concrete, - like I'd be held accountable for it. And I've checked off some things in the 4 months it took me to compile the list. It's been very satisfying.
My friends all made lists too…it seemed trendy and cool to do. We'd mention an activity and one of us would say, "Oh yeah, I did that …It was on my list." And everyone would nod knowingly. Like some kind of not-so-secret code.
Some numbers are helpful money saving skills that I'll need as a wife, such as #99, learning to cut up a whole chicken. Some are honorable and charitable, such as #30 be a Salvation Army Bell ringer at Christmas time. One is a final act of rebellion against a controlling boyfriend who I broke up with 12 years ago. (#60 if you're wondering. He "forbid" me to get one.)
But leave it to Benji, and the Apostle Paul to point out the obvious to me. Even if I accomplish them all by tomorrow, I'd be missing the most important task of all: Love.
1 Corinthians 14:1 says "Let love be your highest goal."
Doh!!!!!.
Out of 101 things to do in the next 2 years, I neglected the one thing that really makes a difference.
Sure, I put lots of spiritual sounding things on there: memorize scripture, go on a missions trip, step out boldly in faith and give a word to a stranger. But Paul says in 1 Cor. 13:1 that even if I do the greatest things, if I do them without love, then it's worthless. (My paraphrase, not a direct quote.) And it's not that I don't do loving things already, but I guess it just annoys me that out of the 101 things I'm holding myself accountable for doing, none of them are focused on the right thing. Get it?
So I guess I have to add some more things to my list. Send me an email if you have some loving suggestions. If you have a list, add them to yours too. Maybe they should say something like this:

102. Be patient with irritatingly slow people in front of me in line.
103. Go without something I like, to give it to someone who has so much less that me.
104. Go without something I like to give it to someone who has so much MORE than me.
105. Hold my tongue when that jerk cuts me off in traffic.
106. Pray for a generous spirit
107 Create disposable income with the sole purpose of giving it away.
108. Do something for someone in need- even if I'm inconvenienced by it.
109. Walk a granny to her car when it's raining. Hold my umbrella over HER head.
110. Buy a bouquet of flowers to give to a random stranger.
111. Invite a not -Heidi-friend to dinner once a week for a month
112. Go Buy-One-Get-One shopping with the intention of giving away the free item
113. Forgive
114. Admit when I'm wrong
115. Pray for more opportunities to LOVE!!!!

My List

Inspired by my friend Angela's list I've spent 4 months creating a list of 101 things to do before I turn 30. It was tough because most of the things I want to do, I've done, including (much to my mother's dismay): wrestling a bear, getting a tattoo, and dancing in a cage (whoops, I don't think she knew about that one... she does now. ) And some I did while I was still creating the list. But it was there before I did it, so it still counts.
If you see a wish that you can help me accomplish, let me know, I might take you up on it.
101 things to do before I turn 30 on July 28, 2007

1. Try 3 new vegetables
2. Try 3 new fruits (muskadones… )
3. Travel to another country (Canada doesn't count since it's
really just America-lite)
4. Learn to swim
5. Go 5 days without eating sugar (like deserts, not fruit)
6. Memorize 20 new bible verses complete with number and verse
7. Make a cheesecake from scratch
8 Read Paradise Lost
9. See Casey Shuck again
10. Learn to run/jog 3 miles
11. Visit Chimney Rock in NC
12. Learn how to grill steaks and burgers
13 Visit New Orleans, go to Café Dumonde
14. Go to the beach during the off-season and run in the surf barefoot
15. Take a walk by moonlight
16. Have a picnic at Duke Gardens
17. Go to Africa
18 Tell my dad I'm going to Africa
19. Make bread from scratch
20 Pray in-group 5 consecutive times without needless crying
21 Paint my baseboards
22. Clean my bathroom once a week for a month
23. Make my bed every morning for 1 month
24. Learn the words of "come on Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runner
25 Study the psalms
26 Get the hard water stains out of my toilet. (It might take that long)
27 Sleep on a waterbed (do they still make them?)
28. Speak in front of a group without getting all nervous
29 Learn to speak 20 phrases in another non/Spanish language
30.Volunteer as a Salvation Army Bell ringer at Christmas time
31. Read C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce
32. Meet Maya Angelou
33. Go to the Oprah Show
34. Meet Joyce Meyer
35. Visit WWII memorial in D.C
36. Watch an I-max movie
37. Live overseas
38. Complete my BLOG page including pictures, and advertisements
39. Memorize 20 names of God including their Hebrew/Greek meaning
40.Finish writing my children's book
41. Publish my children's book
42. Go camping
43. Take a road trip with an unexpected friend (i.e., not Heidi)
44. Kiss a cute boy!
45. Kiss a cute boy with a British accent!
46. Own a set of silk or satin pajamas
47. Learn to burn cd's
48. Visit Central Park in New York
49 Try a Bloody Mary
50. Meet Sofia Delaney Britton in Person
51. Meet Abigail McPherson Green in person (after her birth of course!)
52. Eat the RDA 25 grams of fiber a day for 1 week. (note to self, ***buy toilet paper)
53. Rent and watch a full season of Seinfeld
54. Preach a sermon to 30+ people
55. Get a pedicure
56. Get a manicure
57. Find and watch the episode of friends when "They were on a break!"
58. Watch Chariots of Fire
60. Get my belly button pierced
61 Get a tummy flat enough to show my belly button ring
62. Go 1 month without shaving my legs
63. Go into public (probably Carrboro) with my hairy legs
64. Be nominated for an award
65. Get an ipod
66. Get a 1-hour professional message
67. Learn to sing
68. Get great thighs (by any means necessary)
69. Learn a style of dancing (no grindy-bump, - real dancing)
70. Add at least 3 new artists to my repertoire of enjoyable music
71. Watch CNN to learn about current events for 1 month
72. Watch a James Dean movie
73. Watch The Graduate
74 Mail a cool picture to Lilly Craighead
75. Share my blog with 10 people
76. Read all of Maya Angelou's autobiography's
78. Grow my own tomatoes
79. Put carpet into my bedrooms
80. Clean out my shed and minor closet
81. Sell wedding dress on eBay or other way
82. Ride in a convertible
83. Pet a snake
84 Watch an outdoor movie
85 Go to a firing range and shoot a gun
86. Go to a movie by myself
87. Read Pascal's Penses (never mind. I threw it out.)
88. Read the Harry Potter series
89. Ride in the sidecar of a motorcycle
90. Remodel my kitchen with new stove, counters, and backsplash
91 Go on a mission trip.
92. Take a class (something that I choose, not for a degree)
93. Step out in faith! Not be afraid to give a word to a stranger!
94. Win a contest with a great prize!
95. Pay off my car and student loans.
96 Break my sugar binging.
97. Go to post-Katrina New Orleans (I've already done #13)
98. Work at a video store
99. Learn to cut up a chicken properly
100. Watch the snow fall from the window of my house.
101. Get married

Optional Alternate: meet a celebrity