Snow fest

So what so states in the north do in the winter? They have a snow festival of course!Frakenmuth Michigan has this fest every year.

even if you've never come to the winterfest, everyone has come to Frakenmuth to visit Bronners, the world's largest Christmas store (I was in heaven) eat chicken at Zehnders, or buy fudge, sausage, cheese or pretzles the the Kandy Haus, or Cheese Haus (or any other Haus...someone should teach these Germans to spell)
Now this year there was a high school competition in snow carving.
my high school was there. When did my high school get a snow sculpting team? I mean, I'm not much of an artist, but I can rock a snow man!!!!!! And there was icy putt putt.

and a warm lunch later...
but you get the point

My room

okay I've been working on getting the house the way I like it... a long journey but it's okay, what else to I have to do?So these are before/after pics of my attic bedroom. I'm not real thrilled with the blue'gray color,- a bit too blue for my taste. But it's livable for now.

lol!!!!!

Okay I thought it was hilarious when I heard on tv that Barak Obama had complimented Beyonce on her "single ladies" dance, and he wanted to learn it himself. Of course his daughters rolled their eyes in embarrassment.But it you've ever seen Barak Obama try to dance, it's a funny thought. (He is half white you know.)So, just 4 days later, lookie what is on the internet.(Word of warning, go to the toilet first so you don't wet yourself.)BarakIf this link doesn't take you staight there, type "barak, single ladies spoof"
If you live and Africa, and haven't seen the Beyonce video, watch it first...other wise it won't make sense.

Don't trust 'em 2002

He thought it would be safe to leave me alone with a three year old.
"Remember when you came last time to Aunt Debbie's? You and me played that game?"
"No, honey, that wasn't me..."
She puzzled. "Yes, when you came last time...."
"No, I think you have me confused with someone else. I've never been to Aunt Debbie's house before today."
She rolled her eyes in frustrations. "(SIGH) Uncle Jimmy's got too many white girlfriends."

Hmmm....

Not really sure what I'm going through right now. I'm sure everyone would say it's normal,- a few already have.
But I guess I've just been feeling...tired.
Worn out really.
Spiritually and emotionally exhausted. How do you get refreshed in that?
I mean, if I was physically tired, I'd take a nap, but emotionally?....
I guess it just hit me while I was driving to Kentucky, and I realized that the idea of making even one more little change in life made me want to cry.
I'm longing for stabilty,- lots and lots of stability.
I've been pushing myself to get all of my subbing paperwork in, and fingerprinting completed so I could start working. But then I found myself every day thinking "Oh dear God, I hope they don't call me to work."
I just can't do it right now.
I guess this is the re-entry struggle that so many warned me about.

My trip to Kentucky

This weekend I traveled to Kentucky to visit my friends who are now at seminary. I love them so much, and have missed them!

When you want to get involved in it,when you want to make it happen,when you're desperate to put your hands in,it takes just as much faith to sit stillas it does to move to Africa.

Thanks Becca!

You know it's funny that Becca and I didn't become friends really until we both moved back to America. While I always liked her, we seemed to just run in different Swazi cirlces and didn't get a lot of face time with one another,- you know how it goes, different ministries, different towns.
But now that were both back in the US we've connected more and she's been a wonderful support in my transitioning.
She has given me the greatest gift today! She has become my 15th blog follower, and therefore I now have 3 even rows of five pictures there on the side.
It looks to nice. See her pretty picture there?
I know that's a dumb thing but I like it.
So if one of you want to be a follower you are more than welcome... but try to get 4 other friends to follow as well, okay?

I should have put this before

I told you last month about the tremendous support we had for the Children's Cup Christmas Party.Well I had these verses in mind, but I just couldn't find them.So here they are:

Exodus 35:21 If their hearts were stirred and they desired to do so, they brought to the LORD their offerings...

36:6 So Moses gave the command and this message was sent throughout the camp: "Bring no more materials! You have already given more than enough." So the people stopped bringing their offerings.

Their contributions were more than enough to complete the whole project.How awesome is that?!!!! The people believed so strongly in the project that they gave an gave and it was more than enough! And that is exactly what we saw for these Christmas parties!Thank you so much for all of the churches who supported the parties. I know you will be blessed for being such a blessing.

Talking myself out of my own good ideas.

I'm learning once again just to sit back, chill, and let God be God. I get frustrated easily when God prompts me in a certain direction, I run with it, and then He decides He doesn't really want to do it that way. Here is a link to a previous post where I "learned" this lesson.
say what
And sometimes I get easily frustrated when I think I know what he's doing, and then he does it another way,- without telling me anything about it, so I panic thinking nothing is getting done. Here's a link to that lesson "learned"
Joshua
The only thing that keeps me going these days is the fact that I'm an old lady and have had a few year with the Lord under my belt. And when I look back I can see how he has come through for me in other areas,-and that reassures me that he will come through in my current struggles as well.
The one I keep thinking about is about his provision.He started speaking to me years ago about living debt free. I didn't have a lot of debt really, but took this into consideration.
"Do you mean, like, bad debt? Like credit card debt? Or do you mean, like all debt, like even normal people debt?You and I both know there is a difference. Even financial ad visors tell you debt on mortgages aren't really bad because you are investing in something that appreciates, and you can sell it and recoup your money. So that's not a bad debt. Right? I mean how do you ever own anything if you don't take a loan? You can't just pay for a house in cash."
He didn't answer.But it kept coming up.
So I worked hard to finish my car payments, and doubled up on some student loan payments until it was done. Well since I don't carry credit card debt that only left the mortgage on my condo. And of course I did those little tricks like paying on the 15th to trim the years off, or pay on the principal. But He and I both knew it was going to take a while to pay that off.So before I went to Africa he made me sell it, along with my car.
"Well..okay...I'm debt-free now... but I don't own anything..."
And of course I'd gone from my already low-paying teaching job to a non-paying missionary job.
To add insult to injury the Lord often prompted me to give money away during this time. Yeah, to just random people who'd I encounter who needed financial help in this area or that area. He'd tell me to give them $X amount with a heavy conviction in my heart until I did.
And last year when I heard that I was returning to the US, He told me to give away all of my African things.
"What? give it away? I have to sell it so I can start over, there. You made me get rid of everything. How am I suppose to get a car and a apartment and furnishings?"
But once again it was that obedience thing."
Fine I'll do it."
And it was 3 months later that my dad died and my brother offered me his half of the house and truck at a dirt cheap price.And just like that, I owned a house, all the furnishings, and a truck debt free.Just like the Lord had encouraged me to aim for years ago.
How does that happen?!!!!!!!! That's crazy!!!!!
From the world's perspective, I seemed to be going in the opposite direction,- no official job, giving stuff away, selling off assets.
Yet God worked it out.
Now, as I sit watching news reports of family after family loosing homes to foreclosures, or dropping home values, I am grateful that He removed that mindset that mortgages are necessary and harmless.
So daily I'm reflecting on this example that God does work it out,- even if I don't understand what his plan it. He's setting things in motion even if I can't see what he's doing.

A little companionship...

I'm lonely today and want to call some friends. I just want to hear their voices and listen to their stories.
But inevitably they ask "How are you doing?" or "How are you adjusting" and there is just no desire to talk about these things today. I can't explain in words how I'm feeling, or what I'm praying for, or beleiving God for. It's just to big and too overwhelming to try to wrap a word around it.
So I'm holed up today in the beautiful snow, comtemplating making a nice salad for dinner and deciding not to go to wednesday night church. I just can't do the introductions and explainations tonight.

The shoe

Coming back to the US has been easy. A little too easy.
What is wrong with me? Why doesn't such a huge change effect me?
I'm fine feeling like a princess with every luxury like canned soup and central heating.
"Do you miss Pumpkin?" Patrick asked.
Nope. My new truck is better.
Nor to I miss bugs and sweat.
The snow is pretty and all of my food has high-fructose corn syrup,-the way I like it.
But still is was unnerving the way I transitioned so easily back into America.
Every missionary will tell you going home is hard and emotional.
I even read a book to prepare me.
Yet I came home, with no hard, and no emotional.
What's wrong with me?" I asked Becca. "Am I emotionally stagnant?"
She reassured me it might be okay.
Maybe I've just had it easier upon reentry. People have read my blogs this whole time, so I don't feel as though no one wants to hear my stories. And I'm not living with family and searching desperately for a job. I have this adorable little house, and my own space. Maybe I've just been sheltered from the additional stress that comes from reentry.
But all along I've waited for the other shoe to drop....
Then this morning,- the shoe.
Today I felt like a worthless drudge whose life could not be more meaningless. I sobbed in my American thinking chair (which is so much better than my African thinking chair)because I am unemployed and unemployable.Then I sobbed that I don't have health insurance. Then I sobbed that everyone in the world is having a baby, or a second baby, or a third baby, yet I, at 31, am approaching death with my petrified ovum and unused womb, as a spinster. Then I lamented the fact that I was sobbing to myself because I know no one in Flint anymore and therefore had no one to lament to.
Eventually I pulled myself together, (because I had to go out into public) and before too long I found my self in Barnes & Isn't-living-in-America-Great Nobel with a tea and a copy of Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking
And while I read 2/3 of her manic depressive/comedic life story, I began to feel better about my own life.
Funny the things that cheer you up.And now I'm back to feeling fine.

Ta-da!!!!!

Look at me all cute and wintery!
Dress in the best non-matching winter gear I shoveled the whole driveway by myself!

To dog, or not to dog

I've been tossing around the idea of getting a dog as a companion.
Not today, mind you, but this spring.
So today I just happened to be donating some detergent to the humane society and took a look at my shopping options... you know for when spring comes around.
They were all sooo cute! I wanted to take them all home!
The only thing that pried me away from there was the fact that I was going to a movie.
Well, wouldn't you know the movie I wanted was starting too soon so I chose to see Marley & Me.
Oh my goodness! That really was the dog from hell. As I sat there watching the movie I remembered the way it was with my other dogs, - the chewing, the potty training, the barking, the howling, the near dislocated shoulders on walks, the distroyed everthings, the non-intended food that got eaten.
And then the ending...well I won't say it but I remembered that with other dogs as well. I cried quietly while the others in the theatre sobbed.
Ugh. Never mind. I don't need a dog. If I want companionship I'll just get married.
Men chew less.

GRRRR.

After 5 minutes I still can't say "Irish Wristwatch."

The first funny Back-in-American story

The other night I went to bed after the power had gone out. I used my travel alarm clock to make sure I'd be awake in time for church.
At 7am the alarm went off.
Holy crap I'm soooo tired. I'll reset it for 9.
9am came and I was still tired.
uugh! okay I'll just lie here a moment
I fell asleep again waking up at 10:45.
Crap! It's 10:45...why is it still so dark out? (Don't judge me too hard for this next thought, I was still half asleep) Does the sun not come out on Sunday here in Michigan?
Then I was awake enough to figure out what had happened. I was using an alarm that was still set on African time. So my 7am wake up was actually 1am.
No wonder I still felt tired.

So honored

Do you see this beautiful baby? She is the new daughter of my teacher Portia.
Her name is Christy.
Yes she was named after me. I've never been so honored.

Merry Christmas

I've had a great Christmas,- I hope you have too.
Here are some horribly cute ( or just horible) pictures that I uploaded on my high speed wireless internet. (just bragging)
This morning brought beautiful big-giant snowflakes so I had to go out and pose in the snow with my new fleece blanket and coffee mug.
Also, these are the cutest socks I've ever seen, and then a pic of my step-dad in this new flannel jacket- which just happened to match his flannel pants... people like to wear flannel in Flint if you can't tell.

Don't bother to read this...

If you are in Swaziland this post will just make you jealous.
If you are in America, you won't get it,- it will just appear to be a boring list of activities.
But I just can't help but to feel soooo blessed these last few days. A few times I've almost cried feeling so grateful.
I'm sleeping in a cozy bed with warm blankets and super soft pillows
I ate a can of Cambells soup.
I saw very very cheap gas prices.
I baked Christmas goodies with my mom
I saw snow... and more snow...and more snow. Then I watched it snow, and I shoveled the snow.
I called Heidi just to say hello, but didn't feel the need to tell everything. I'll talk to her again soon.
I checked my email and thought, "Well that was fast...now what do I do?"
I saw an episode of Friends.
I turned the furnace up.
I ate a very yellow bananna. I thought it was fake.
I went to target, and then Walmart.
It sounds strange, but it almost feels as though I've been given my life back. Does that make sence? I can't really explain it but I'm just so happy.

Merry Christmas from Swaziland Kiddies

heh-heh

The Swaziland Cricket Association was at our Christmas party this year teaching our kiddies how to play cricket.
They also set up a tent with bats, ball, pads, guards, and...well this thing.
This kids tried desperately to figure out what this thing was.
Was it a mit to catch balls? Was is a face mask?
Hmmmmmm... what could this thing be for?

Christmas parties!

Every year Children’s Cup hosts the country’s largest Christmas Party. This year we had 4000 at our Manzini party alone.
The kids came from 10 carepoints to celebrate “siyajabula kutsi inkhosi Jesu inatsi” (We are happy that Jesus is with us.)
These kids who have so little came to a mass controlled-chaos of hotdogs, ice cream, juice, jumping castles, water slides, cricket, soccer, net ball, face painting, volley ball, dancing, and singing.
At the end of the day the kids each saw a performance by the Dynamics kids and received a Christmas gift.
It was so awesome to be a part of this in Swaziland, but even more awesome was the response that we got from the US. Children’s cup needed to raise approx $1250 per carepoint to hose such a party. Your US support was unbelievable. We raised every penny and still had churches wanting to donate! Children’s Cup actually was able to say, “We have enough for this project (but you can support another one if you choose)”
Thanks to everyone who made this possible!

My African Angels

My traveling day was traumatic.
I arrived tired in Washington DC.
My luggage didn't.
I waited in que after que, to be questioned, searched and herded like cattle.
I rode trams to other gates and sprinted through the airport to the gate where my connecting flight was leaving 16 mintutes sooner than when I booked the flight.
I was too late.
"It's left." she Christmas Witch told me smuggly.
"No it hasn't! (pant pant) I see it right there! The door is still open!" I shouted waving my boarding pass.
She talked into her phone reciever and responded to me "They've already done the paper work..." and proceed to ignore me.
I burst into sobs right there. I didn't care who saw.
A kind elderly South African was brave enough to approach me. "Don't worry. It will be okay. You can go there to the customer service and they will rebook you. You can go on the next one." I pulled my self together and did just that.
After being told I would fly stand-by at 5:30 pm I called my mom on the pay phone and sobbed to her.
I attempted to go to the SAA ticket counter in hopes that they could assure me on a different flight.
This American and that American directed me poorly with "It's in the main terminal" or "It's downstairs, and then go upstairs."
What?
But a kind Ethiopian man said, "Here I can take you." and walked me personally all the way. "I hope they can help you " he said as he left.
Bless his heart.
Later that morning I was trying to find an ATM to get American Money so I could buy more phone cards (and a starucks...hey I needed some time of comfort)and walked into the newstand to ask for help.
A lovely girl was there helping me and encouraging me. "They also sell SIM cards downstairs if you want it for your phone instead of a calling card. But we have those here if you need them. "
"You have a beautiful accent. Where are you from?"
"Togo..." and immediately followed with "It's in western africa..."
"I know where Togo is."
She acted surprised.
"I've been living in Swaziland... I know a bit about africa."
She smiled brightly. I'm guessing not many of her customers know anything, (or care) about Togo.
Yes, it was a crap day. But I was so blessed by the beautiful African Angles that I encountered.
Thank you Lord for bringing Africa to me, after I left Africa.

Polar opposites

I left africa on the longest day of the year. It was a hot 85 degrees when I left at 10:30. It was the hot-hof of first day summer day!
I arrived after many grueling hours in Washington DC. I could smell the cold air. (I'd forgotten cold has a smell)
The sun didn't rise until after we landed at 6:30 am.
I made it to Flint Michigan at 7 pm to the announcement "The current temperature is 1 degree with 30mph wind gusts"
Welcome to the first day of winter.
I'd forgoten how cold "cold" was. Wrapped in only my winter coat (which I was smart enough to pack in my carry on)and the scarf Sandra knitted me we sprinted from the airport terminal to the truck in a covered shelter. My ears were numb by the time we arrived.
"Holy crap! How am I going to do this all again?"
It's been a long time since I scraped windows while doing the "crap-it's-cold" dance.
I don't own any gloves.
Or ear muffs.
or face masks.
or snow pants.
Heck I only have boots that Lauren blessed me with. Otherwise I'd be wearing flip flops.
I think my shopping trip to target today will have to include a little more than eggnog and coffee creamer.

Going Home!!!!

Tomorrow I’m going home. It just hit me yesterday.
But the house has been cleaned and inventoried, the bags have been packed and the goodbyes have all been said.
It seems surreal. How has it been 18 months?
This journey started 4 years ago when I sent a short-term application to Children’s Cup. I figured I’d come for 2 weeks, kiss some babies, and go home and pat myself on the back, thinking “What a good person I am”
I had no idea the journey that God had planned for me.
This has been the single most influential, healthy, maturing, strengthening experience in my life. Some days were tough, but I wouldn’t have traded it for a million dollars.
I recently read that of all the people who feel called to the mission field, on 5% go. It makes me so sad for the other 95%. They don’t know the blessing they are missing.
I’ll see you soon, state-side.

A lucky girl! :0)

Ntombiekayise is a teenager at my Moneni carepoint. She graduated from our program last January, but arrived at the carepoint on the first day of the new school year crying.
“I have no school fees,” She told our teacher.
For months she stayed at home, day in and day out,- not really a good idea for a teenage girl in Moneni
“Christy, she’s 12 now. How long until she begins prostituting for school fees, or becomes pregnant?” her teachers asked me.
After months of trying, the teachers convinced her to come back to the carepoint during the days. She sat in with the students of the literacy program to keep her skills fresh.
Thankfully, our prayers were answered in June when newhope church visited Swaziland. They met Ntombiekayise, and visited her home and mother (who has since passed). Touched by her story, the team donated the funds for her, and two others to attend school in ’09.
So now, Ntombiekayise will have a happy ending… at least for ’09. But in the last month I’ve had more pleas for school fees than ever at Moneni. Several parents have died this year, and a few sponsorships have ended, leaving those with committed school fees empty handed. It’s sad to think that many of my babies will go without.

10 things I won't miss about Africa

10. Being asked “Are you hungry?” every time I yawn.
9. Insects. No one needs to start their day killing mega-spiders, cockroaches, 7- inch centipedes, ants, beetles, or bird-sized moths.
8. Spending every day acutely aware that I’m white. Receiving special treatment because I’m white. Being discriminated against because I’m white. Being ignored because I’m white. Receiving respect because I’m white. Having beggars harass me because I’m white. Having people try to be my friend because I’m white. Having people expecting me to solve all of their problems because I’m white.
It’s annoying.
7. Buying my groceries in shifts. Susan says if you can get 80% of your list at one store, it’s been a good day.
6. Sun shining into my bedroom at 4:30 am.
5. Sweating in all of my crevices.
4. African toilet paper. The best stuff here is okay. But sometimes you encounter the 1-ply see-through stuff. It’s just no good.
3. Public holidays being declared at a moments notice. Schools being closed at a moments notice. Schools being delayed for the King’s Birthday… no wonder the educations system here is so poor. No one ever goes to school!
2. My teeny-tiny refrigerator. C’mon I can’t even stand up a 2 liter on the top shelf! I have a house, but it feels like a college dorm with this tiny fridge!
1. Instant coffee. You remember the crap our parents drank when we were growing up in the 80’s? The Folgers instant crystals? Yeah, the stuff that made me refuse to drink coffee until I was 27? That’s what they serve here. (I guess if you are a tea drinking culture, who cares if your coffee is crap.) I’ve had to learn which restaurants serve “filter coffee” and I frequent them often.

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to America, the land of the free (refills) where there will be rivers of filter coffee flowing every day! The appliances will be bigger than me, we practice day light savings, the toilet paper is like little square pillows on your bum, and there are so many white people, you just blend in. You know my good experiences her in Africa far outweigh the bad, but since I’m going I’m happy to say good-bye to these 10 annoying things! :0)

De Puneeshment

“The paper says Incwala will be declared Monday.”
“Monday is the Mbabane Christmas party. Will we be able to have it even though it is a holiday?”
“Oh no! You can’t…you will be fined many cows.”

Graduation Day!!!!

We recently had our graduations at our carepoints. Over 150 children completed our two-year preschool/literacy program.
Here are a few pics including me at my Moneni Carepoint.
Aren’t they cute?

Very GRRRRRRR!

A pastor asked me yesterday, “What is the first thing you are going to get when you arrive in the US? Pizza? McDonalds?”
That was an easy question.
“From my landing gate in DC, to my departing gate to Detroit, there is a Starbucks. I’m gonna get a holiday drink. A hot, half-caf, mocha latte sumthin’ with whipped cream and 700 calories!”
And on the way home I laughed with Jesse about this.
“Yeah, for sure. An easy $40R to spend.” She turned to the nurse in the back seat, “Yeah, we drink $40R coffee at home.”
$40R
Something in that made me sick.
$40R is a Swazi daily salary. A maid or gardener work hard every day,- real physical work- to earn the price of one Starbucks.
It really bothered me. I guess I’d never done the math before, or at least had done it when the exchange was lower. So then I started doing more math.
We blow $4 on coffee and never think twice. Our $4 could buy a nice meal for a Swazi family. A month of Starbucks could send a Swazi teenager to school.
I’ve heard that returning missionaries really struggle with the wastefulness and materialism of the Western world. I think it’s already starting.
I can’t enjoy that Starbucks any more. Dang it Jesse!

Hlane

There are days that you say, "That was a pretty good day."
Other days you say "Huh, I got lucky."
But there are very few days that you say, "Wow. God totally orchestrated that!"

Yesterday was that day.

I was in charge of taking 47 OVCs who graduated to Hlane National Game Reserve for a meal and a game drive.

All of us were piled into a bus where we sweated, and looked for animals together.

I could not believe it. The children saw every animal that Hlane has to offer.

Every Animal.

I've done game drives with teams that last for hours only to see one or 2 of the big 5. But in one hour these precious children saw and elephant, a pride of lions, a leopard, 4 rhinos, a giraffe, a warthog, kudos, antelope, hippos...you name it!

With the time of day, and the horrible heat, I thought we might see one or two, but these kids were blessed!
I joked that the kids were going to think that a game park was the same as a zoo,- you turn a corner there is an animal, another corner, another animal. :0)

Siyabonga Jesu!

Looking Forward

Yesterday I sat in a bus sweating my butt off, thinking "In 2 1/2 weeks I'll be in winter, with snow and 4:30 sun sets."
It's strange to think about.
But my mom has been sending me pictures of my cute little house, which she has decorated for me. The snow is falling day after day, and part of me can't wait to get there and expereience it for myself.
I guess that's a good thing huh?

It's sad

A friend of mine recently attempted to make a simple trip to the grocery store. As she wheeled her tolley into the shop, her baby started crying.
“I know that cry, Christy. When she cried like that I know she will be inconsolable and it will be a long day. I just picked her up and took her home. I wasn’t going to shop with a baby wailing all the way through the store.”
It wasn’t until 2 days later, as she went looking for her purse did she realize that the baby was the only thing she’d taken from the trolley.
Of course she was frantic. She grabbed the baby, loaded her up into the car and started out of the driveway when she heard the holy spirit speaking to her.
You are doing this in your own strength. You need to stop and ask me for help.

She immediately stopped and prayed of peace, and guidance.

Then there was a tap on her window. It was a confused looking neighbor.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m praying.”

“Praying?”

She gave the neighbor the 30 second version.

“Oh my gosh! You need to hurry! You need to get to the shop,-”

“This purse has been gone for 2 days. Rushing there in 5 minutes is not going to find this purse. Prayer will.”

The neighbor looked at her like she was batty.

My friend drove off, and to the neighbors surprise was home within 5 minutes, purse in hand.

Some one had found it that day, and returned it to the manager with everything still inside.

“See? Prayer works.”

“Jesus hears your prayers, he doesn’t hear mine”

Her neighbor’s response breaks my heart.

How many people around us feel that way? That Jesus doesn’t hear their prayers or care about them because they: don’t go to church, smoke cigarettes, drink, cuss, live with their girlfriend, play the lotto, have a child out of wedlock, or any of the other disqualifiers they concoct in their minds.