While living in Africa, I rose with the sun. In summer that means 4:30-5:00 am.I loved it. I prided myself in it. Ask anyone who has ever lived with me,- I'm a morning person.I'd laze around, drinking my coffee, reading my bible, got ready to start the day and make it to the office by 8:30.
But upon returning to the states...well it's a different story. Ech! I can't pull myself out of bed before 8am. (and to anyone who knows me, that might as well be lunch time) It makes sense, since I've been going to bed between midnight and 2 am.(Gasp! I know. In Africa it as 9pm at the latest!!!!)
So what the heck has happened to me? I don't know if it's the cozy electric blanket, the deep darkness outside, or the cold winter house but I can't get out of bed to save my life! I've tried! I've set my alarm for 6am, but will consistently smack the snooze every 4 minutes until 8.
Well needless to say, since I've decided to start subbing this will cause a problem.For the past 2 days, the phone has rang just after 8 with positions available starting near 9am. Well of course that's impossible for me!And then yesterday it occurred to me. If I want to work, I will have to get up, get ready for the day, so when a call comes at 8, I can walk out the door.
Ohhhhh, I was conflicted about this one.Could I actually get ready to start a day without guarantee for work?I really had to psyche myself up for this one. And since I was so tired I went to bed early last night. And as I went to sleep, the Jekyll and Hyde voices began in my head:
You'll get a nice night's sleep and wake up at 6am with the alarm. You can do this Christy.
Well of course I went to bed so early, my body thought I was taking a nap and woke up at 12:30. It took a while to go back to sleep.
Now you've lost too much sleep. you will be tired in the morning. You'll never be able to get up.
So at 6am the alarm went off and the snooze slapping began.
you have to get up christy. you'll get work today. you will. and it will feel good!
No, this is crap. just go to sleep. just rest. you don't need to work today.
slap. slap
Christy, this is called being self-disciplined. you need that remember? Just like your exercising. get up. make yourself.
Get up? For what? You might not even get called.
slap. slap.
C'mon girl, you can do it!
Reaching over my head I flicked the lights on. The voice in my head went up an octave to feign cheeriness.
See? it's like the bright African sun! it's morning. Get up sunshine!
I got up and staggered downstairs started the coffee pot. I staggered to put my socks on. I staggered into the bathroom.
Look at yourself in the mirror girl! You look rough! Go back to bed! You don't even want to work today do you?
"No I don't. Maybe they won't call today."
Yes, you do.
So step by step I rolled my hair, put on makeup, brushed my teeth, and got dressed all by 8am....
"Maybe they won't call today. But they will call today.I want them to call today... oh please don't call today."
no call.
So it's 8:30 and I am completely ready to start the day... and yet have no day to start.
Tomorrow I will have to do the same thing. Ugh. I can hear the voices already.
3 comments:
oh boy! that's rough. just remember-you can always take a nap when you get home in the afternoon!
His grace is sufficient! Hey, I'm studying the Life You've Always Wanted and on the chapter about disciplines...remember, "A disciplined person is someone who can do the right thing at the right time in the right way with the right spirit...A disciplined person is not simply someone who exercises many disciplines." Be gentle with yourself as Jesus is :0)
awww...I love the way you put things. I use to wake up at 6 every day in Africa, sometimes 5:30. I was never a morning person in the US but I thought I had changed. Then I came back here and now I can't get up again. For example this morning I woke up at 8:45 and then rolled back over for a minute and woke up at 9:45 - talk about the middle of the day.
Post a Comment