Respect My Author-itah!!!!!!!

Do y'all know Eric Cartman? Yes I'm talking about the little fat kid on South Park. Sometimes as I flip through the channels I catch a commercial for South Park with Eric Cartman in a police uniform screamin,' "Respect my author-itah!!!!" Not sure what the episode is about, but the commercial sure is funny. It always makes me think of this analogy I heard once. It goes like this:
Policemen… women...er… police officers are given authority in our towns to do certain jobs. We have to respect their authority or we fall subject to the appropriate consequences. For example, they might stand in the street and direct traffic, or put on their flashy lights and pull our car over. And we have to do what they say because they have been given authority to do these jobs.
Well, if we were kinda sneaky, we could dress up in a police uniform and wave flares around and get drivers to go in new directions if we wanted to. We don't actually have the authority to do so, but some unsuspecting driver just might not know any better and fall for our silly prank.
In the same way Satan often tries to "fake the funk" to get us to do things we really don't have to do: get sick, worry, fall into fear, give into temptation, doubt God etc. I just picture him as this short, little Eric Cartman screamin', "Respect my author-itah!!!!!!"
He tries to get us to believe he's still the king of this world.

"I will give you the glory of these kingdoms and authority over them-because they are mine to give to anyone I please." (Luke 4:6)

Satan once had author-itah, (oops! Sorry.) authority over this earth. God had originally given authority over the earth to Adam at the time of creation, but he it was handed over to Satan in the garden. So God found a righteous man, by the name of Abraham whose bloodline bore Jesus Christ. And the Bible says time and time again that Christ, as God's son, re-claimed the authority from Satan.

"The time of judgment for the world has come, when the prince of this world will be cast out" (John 12: 31)

"My Father has given me authority over everything." (Matt 11:27)

Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. (John 13:3)

"It has happened at last- the salvation and power and kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ! For the Accuser has been thrown down to earth… And they have defeated him because of the blood of the Lamb…" (Rev. 12:10-11)

Cool! So what did Jesus do with it, after he reclaimed it? Take it with him back to heaven?

Nope.

He gave it to me.

And you.

And your momma.

And every born-again believer.

"Yes," He told them, "I saw Satan falling from heaven as a flash of lightning!" And
I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk
among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don't
rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered as
citizens of heaven." (Luke 10:18)

So we have the authority to heal the sick?

Yup. (Matt 10:1)

The authority to know God?

Yup. (Matt 11:27)

The authority to take the message of repentance to all the nations?

Yup. (Luke 24:47)

The authority to tell people everywhere of what God has done for them?

Yup. (Rom1:5)

The authority to teach and encourage people?

Yup. (Titus 2:15)

Even the authority to cast out demons?

Yup. Even that. (Mark 3:15)

That's a lot or privileges. We need to take this seriously! Recognize the lies of the Devil and stand firm in your identity. Don't fall for his tricks and tell him who has really has the author-itah!