The bravest Man in Chapel Hill

This is a picture of Mike Helpingstein and his lovely wife Fran. Mike gets the award for the bravest man in chapel hill.
He (after his wife's volunteering) taught me to drive a stick!
My mom said an extra prayer for him (not me) and things seemed to go fine.
I need some practice still but if I absolutely had to do it today, I could. :0)
Now I only need to learn to drive on the wrong side of the road and I'll be ready for Swaziland. (I know we're not supposed to view other cultures as "wrong" but different. But if we drive on the right side, then they have to be on the wrong side. Right?)
And Drivers are also on the right side of the car over there. But in this case, the right- side is the wrong- side too.
Anyways, a big thanks to Mike and his patience.

That being said...

So the sale was kinda hard on me. Just a bit. (sniffle sniffle)
In spite of everything I felt yesterday, it was hard for me to watch the things go, bit by bit, one by one, to people who might not even cherish them the way I do.
I mean, the couple who bought the fan,- will they simply put it in a hot room, or will they take the time to talk into it and let it live up to it's full Darth Vadar potential?
The woman who bought my heels? Will she put them on with rolled up jeans and dance on a hard wood floor just to hear them click?
And the man who bought my tiki torches? Will he just use them for himself, or will he invite friends over to sit on the back porch, and curse the blasted things when they all realize they don't really deter mosquitos?
Maybe the things that I love so much,( even though they are just silly things) mean so much to me because of the memories they hold for me and those I love so much. And maybe I have so many things because I'm just so super blessed,- not with items, -but with people I love who I feel the need to share them with.
Maybe the Lord will bless me with some new things in Africa...and new loved ones to share them with.

I've know this day would come. I've been clinging to this lately:
And Jesus replied, "I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return, a hundred times over, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property..." Mark 10:29

How I'm feeling

Today was my BIG SALE. I attempted to sell every last possession. And last night as my mom, Jennifer, and I hurriedly rushed about (with the power out) to price and set up everything, I began to get this icky sinking feeling.
I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF!
I'm not one of those people you see on Oprah who horde stuff. And I'm not materialistic in any means. Yet When I saw everything I own, out of cupboards out of closets, and out of the attic and shed, it made me really upset.
Why do I have this much stuff?
I think about the people in the other countries I've visited. They dont' have 8 matching embroidered beaded placemats for Christmas dinner, and then 4 swede placemats for the fall. They dont' have so many shoes they need a show rack. They don't have a special plate to serve chips and dip in when they entertain.
Hmmm. It's not guilt I'm feeling. You know I'm not big on guilt.
But I don't like feeling like this. I don't like knowing that I have stuff, just for the sake of having stuff.
Yech.

I'm surrouded by deception!

Every person in my life is a big ol'e phoney! They lie to me! They purposefully decieve me! They sneak around behind my back! And I love them so much for it
This is how it all went down.
Joey told me a while ago she wanted to do a girl's night before I left with Jennifer and Renee. Fine
So we went to lunch at Carrburritos and then a movie. Now I'd wondered if they were going to secretly invite Heidi, but Heidi never gave me any incling to this so I figured maybe not. To be honest I was a bit hurt Heidi wasn't making an effort to say good-bye, but I figured "what ever!"
So we do the lunch and a movie and then Jennifer handed me a coupon:

To:Christy Merrill
From: Unknown
For: Dinner at Firebirds @ 6:15

Hmmmm. I thought "Great! They are taking me to dinner." But they kinda seemed clueless about what to do once we arrived at Firebirds.
"What is going on?" I thought. Then I thought again, "Did Heidi sneak into town to surprise me?"
Well sure enough, there she was. I'm not a cryer, but I did start crying I was so touched. My friends pulled a fast one on me, and I was so thrilled.
Oh, but it doesn't end there! As Heidi led me to our table, who was there but MARY!!!!!!!! I NEVER Expected her to come down. Between her national boards and wedding planning, I just didn't think it was possible for her.
So we have a nice dinner and walk around the mall a bit and then leave. Half-way to my house Heidi shout out, "Crap! Mary my car is still at Carrburitos! (they snuck there after we left) We need to go pick it up!" So we started down some back roads towards Carrboro when Mary suddenly turns into Mary Catherine's drive way.
And there waiting for me was a going away party with all of my friends and favorite people! I couldn't believe it. I still can't beleive it. And best of all they had all created a unique page about our friendship for a scrap book,- even the guys! I was so proud of them.
What a wonderful day...
But who says lightning doesn't strike twice? Monday I wen tot school and had a long sweaty day of field day activities. Snow cones, tug-of-war, dunking booths...lots of fun. but all the while, unbeknownst to me, my room parents were setting up a suprise party in our classroom complete with cake, streamers, and gifts
Sigh.
It's gonna be hard to leave peole like this behind. :0(

How true!

I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done.
J. Hudson Taylor

Wow!

Awwwww. What a nice thing to say.

Here is a quote from President Bush about his funding for Africa: “Similar success stories are playing out all across the African continent where victims of HIV/AIDS are finding new reservoirs of strength and support. Villages in Africa now talk of the Lazarus effect, dying communities being brought back to life, thanks to the compassion of the American people. This is the impact that has made our emergency plan and the modern-day good Samaritans who are implementing it so effective. It's important that we continue the work we have begun.”


I know we (Americans) aren't the keepers of the world, but we are extremely blessed. And I'm glad our government is doing a bit more in this area. A while back an advisor to the someone, of the assistant to someone in the Bush administation visted Swaziland and the Children's Cup carepoints to see the work they are doing there. I'd like to think that this quote includes Children's Cup, as well as the countless other ministries and organizations in that area.

Okay, so it's not really about me...

There is so much that I never blogged about from my first trip to Africa. but now as I'm getting ready to return, I felt perhaps it's time. Lots of different things influenced my decision to return.

One was this little boy: Levi Rogers.
He's the son of Ben and Susan Rogers in Swaziland. The day before I left I visited them to say goodbye.
"Miss Christy," he asked with big puppy-dog eyes "Are you ever going to come back?"
Oh how could I resist that?
"Yes Levi,... I think I will be back ."
His little face lit up. "Good! Will you bring me some strawberry pop tarts?"

Going...going...gone!

It's called favor!
I signed a contract today! My house is selling! We're waiting on all of the technical stuff now, inspections and loan approval ect. But it's going!
My agent was surprised at how quickly it sold considering our current market in this area.
And do you know when we are closing? June 20th,- the buyer's request.
I leave for Michigan on the 21st. It could not be more perfect!
It's a God thing.

Again?

So I was sitting with Adam at Padget Station today, just sipping frappe and enjoying his company when he drops this bombshell: "Hey, did you ever meet my friend Domonique? You know she's friends with me and Leon and MK... Well she just moved to Mozambique to work with Heidi Baker in Iris Ministries... You should get in touch with her while you're there."
What?!!!!!! AGAIN this this Lord?
Iris Ministries is in Maputo, and an awesome ministry. check it out online www.irismin.org
So this will be #3...

Lord, what are you up to?

I love watching things unfold. Like a complex movie with twists and turns, and I sit in anticipation growing always more excited as the plot is revieled.
I think the Lord is up to something, I just can't figure it out yet.
Swaziland is a tiny country. No one even knows where it is. But I keep finding out about people who are going there for various reasons.
For example, after decided to go with Children's Cup, I talked to a missionary couple at my church. "Oh yeah, we were in Swaziland a while ago. Our friends do ministry there."
Yeah, turns out this couple who lives just a few miles down the road here in NC is returning soon, and will be teaching at the local bible college in Manzini. I had breakfast with them one morning at Cracker Barrel and we shared our ministry visions.
So then tonight I was at a missions meeting at newhope, and Leah turns to me and says, "Oh my friend just got back from Swaziland, and she's going to build an orphanage there..."
She's going to get us in touch with one another before I head out.
I know networking is always good,but I don't think this is just networking. What are you up to Lord? This is interesting to see how it 's all going to unfold. I can't wait.

Here's the dress

Wow! You really CAN find anything online. This is the exact dress I was imagining,- just with a wrong color belt. SO I need this dress to go with my shoes. Anyone up for an early b-day present? It's only (snicker) $360.
Now I know the description doesn't say it, but with a price tag like that, I can tell, this must be a magic dress. Or maybe it's made out of gold, or comes with a plane ticket to Africa. Yes it has to be one of those. So see it's a bargin.

All the cool kids are doing it

Okay...so Rachel found out about some payless shoes called the "rae." At first it didn't bother me. Until, she found some called "casey" for Casey. That made me crazy jealous! I want a cute shoe to be named after me!
So I started looking on line, and this is what I found...







I WANT them! How cute are they? And RED! Red is MY color. I look fabulous in red, but more fabulous in red SHOES. I'm not even a shoe kinda gal, but these are my shoes. They have my name and everything.
I need them for Africa. I do. I need them and a white strapless eyelette dress that comes just below the knee. Make it an
A-line with a red belt! I could wear them to Africa-church. Yes,- these are proper ministry shoes.

And check out "Elaine"...






What's-his-name use to buy me shoes when we were dating... Where did I put his phone number?....

Yea!

I have good days and bad days. Some days it's everything I can do to keep from crying.
Fund raising stinks.
On one hand I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But then I think it's something everyone should do at least once in their lives. It's hard. It's humbling. And it has built my faith in God's provision more than anything else I've ever done.
It has stripped me bare,- to nothing,- and had built me up again.
I stand before God knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do. He has to do it or it won't get done.
And in spite of all of the frustration, He speaks his encouragment to me. I woke up from a nap today (big surprise huh?) About to jump out of my skin. I'm going to Swaziland! I'm so excited! I can hardly sit still!
There is nothing in the natural to cause it, but God is speaking to my heart that he is making everything fall into place.
And it's these more frequently occuring instances that assure me that it really is happening! I really am going to make it to Swaziland!

And the Award for longest friendship goes to...

Better than Bert and Ernie. Better than Oprah and Gail. Even better than Jim and Pam. Yes, me and Kristin. I got to chat with her on the phone today and no matter how long between our chats, it seems we never miss a beat.
She is my oldest friend.
21 years and counting. That's longer than most marriages.
We've been through a lot over the years.
Late night slumber parties with visits from the police.
Barbie dolls.
Puberty, make-up, pimples, crimped hair, tall bangs, guess jeans.
A 17+ years battle with cancer.
Rock band fads.
Parent's divorce
First dates, last dates, prom, graduation, college roomates from hell.
Loss of a dad.
Crazy neighbors listening to "Cat scratch fever" and crashing valentine's day dinners
Pet centpedes and riots during finals week.
Party nights ending when neither of us could quite fit the key into the whole.
Engagements, broken engagements, weddings, pregnancies, births, and deaths.
Midnight service on Christmas eve.
Jobs, jobs, and more jobs.
Laughing. Lots and lots of Laughing
750 miles of seperation.

I no longer feel like she is my friend as much as a family member now. I love her dearly. I owe a lot to her.

She is the one who convinced me to take trigonomotry in high school. She believed I was too good for Hugh Quigley, until I could believe it too. She influenced me into going to college. She sprayed my with lysol when I was sick, but also got me juice and soup. She hated Jason for me when he left, and force fed me in the days that followed. She bought me a waffle iron on my first Valentine's alone. She secretly let me borrow her boyfriend's car. She got me a Viagra t-shirt when she worked at Pfizer, and she made my dad corned beef sandwiches on new years day. She has always been a friend to me, even when I couldn't be a friend back.
I love you Kristin.

Bloodline

Check out this video:

http://mediastorm.org/0012.htm

It's called Bloodline: AIDS and Family. It made me cry, and that's unusual for me. Most media stories make me sad, or inspire me to pray, but I usually don't cry. So that says a lot

Teaching 1st grade has trained me well...

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

In good company

I read this last night:

Then others began coming – men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented – until David was the leader of about four hundred men. 1Sam 22:2

Did you catch who was coming to David? Men with problems, debt,-those who were struggling. But he saw value in them and invested his time and energy into them. He saw their potential even in the mist of all their mess. And do you know who these men became? His Mighty Men described a few chapters later.
I remember 5 years ago when my pastor invited me to be part of a church leadership program called SALT. I was honored that he saw potential in me. While I still had some issues to work out with the LORD, I took it seriously because someone I respected as much as he was willing to take a chance on me.
As a result of this class, I am stronger in the body and a more productive leader. Probably not quite "Might Man" status, but hey…
Thanks Benji, for investing in me. I hope you feel you are getting a good return. ;0)

Happy Mother's Day

I love my mom. She's the greatest mom in the world.
I love that she accepts and supports me unconditionally, yet put boundaries on me to keep me safe.
I love that she laughs all the time at the most rediculous things,- just like me.
I love that she thinks Pizza Hut is a fancy mother's day dinner, and tries to pay for it.
I love that she raised me with the concept of grace. She always told me, "I might not love the things you do, but I will always
love you. " Ahhhh. The Gospel in action.
I love that she still gives me Easter baskets.
I love that I see so much of myself in her.

What? Me Stressed?

I've been so stressed lately. It seems everything his at once. Maybe not in reality but I feel the pressure of life pushing in on all areas.
It's so unlike me, but I've been totally high strung lately. I can almost feel the gray hairs growing. It took all of my human strength no to go off on some middle school students today. I almost snapped.
I realized this morning, after a late night without sleep, and that reaccuring anxiousness in my stomach when I awoke, that I can't go on like this. I have circles under my eyes, I'm irritable, and just always feeling like I'm behind.
Sigh.
I know I need to fight to get my peace back. Yes there are major issues looming around me. I'm selling my house, I'm selling off all of my worldly possessions, and not to mention the fact I'm severly lacking in my monthly support for Africa, which I need before I buy a quickly evaporating ticket.
Sigh
But I know those things aren't necessary to have peace. Because He is peace, not objects of events
I prayed, "Lord send me some pledges."
He sent me a check for $1,000.
Not funny Lord.
He's messing with me.
I couldn't help but laugh along with Him. I love his sense of humor.

So my friend heard for me "Be still and know that I am Lord" Psalm 46:11
Funny, that's the same verse He gave me a year ago. It spoke to me then and it still speaks to me today. It was written during the same time as 2 Chronicles, 20:12 which has always been my life verse.
The battle's on. Only it's not me who has to fight this time. :0)

WWYD? What would you do?

I watched Stranger Than Fiction last night. Thought is was a great movie,- boo to those critics.
But now I have to ask, Would you knowingly give your life so that a stranger could live?

The way it should be...

You know so much of our culture is focused on love, romance, marriage, blah, blah, blah. Okay fine. (Can you tell I was watching Oprah today? Grrrr.)
Unfortunately I'm affraid that so many women my age and younger are in love with the idea of marriage with and unrealistic view of what it will be like. They really want the wedding, not the relationship. You see it all the time (I'm guily too, so I'm not judging anyone) when engaged women are blind to the issues in themselves, their man, or relationship once the ring is on the finger. They are in love with a fantasy, the idea of being "grown-up", and what our culture deems as "okay as a person because you're not single anymore."
So here's my proposal. Every woman should save up all their money (and have their parents contribute too) to have a big fancy All-About- Me party.
Have it catered. Wear a big dress. Get a photographer, a cheesecake, and have everyone bring you crazy expensive presents. Do it when you are about 22-23, right after you graduate. Celebrate you and all the wonderful things about you. Be the center of attention, and act like a princess for a day.
Get it out of your system.
Then take all of your registered things, start your new apartment, and love life, and learn about yourself
Then wait about 10 more years... and when you a finally know enough yourself, and are a complete person, you can present that to someone else who can appreciate who you are. Then get married just the two of you, with a pastor on the beach at sunset. Sigh.
:0)

Good story, Good lesson

A successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you."

The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued, "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today -- one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and, excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil. He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right he took his empty pot to the board room.

When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!" When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO, the others said. Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and bring it back to me today. "But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead -- it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.

"When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust!

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends!

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness!

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment!

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective!

If you plant hard work, you will reap success!

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation!

If you plant faith in Christ, you will reap a harvest!

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Two thousand years ago, Paul wrote to the church at Galatia the same story but with fewer words, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Gal.
6:7)

We are grass that will wither and die, but the incorruptible seed of God's Word will live forever. Sow it daily into the life of your family! (1 Peter 1:23-25)

I Thought I'd Just Die:Embarrassing Confessions of the Mirrorly Challenged

I only had a few minutes to get to the store. I quickly threw off my workout clothes, pulled on the outfit I'd worn to work and shook my hair from it's ponytail as I rushed out of the door.
3 minutes later, I hastely plucked golden delicious apples from the stand as I noticed a fimiliar tightness around my throat.
A cold shiver ran down my spine. A subtle flip/peek confirm my worst fear.
My shirt was on backwards.
I froze, unsure of what to do. This is a major embarassment. This is much worse then the time(s) I've drug myself to work, after dressing in a sleepy stupored fog, only to realize later that my panties are on inside out.
Oh no. This is for for whole world to see.
My cute fitted tee is now a boatneck with a cute v-back.
"Don't worry Christy. Just get your bread, butter and get out quick." I say to myself
Ha. No such luck. It's the Murphy's Law of grocery stores. When ever you are in a rush (or realize you are having a slight wardrobe malfuntion) there will only be 2 lines open,-one will have someone writing a personal check, and the other will have a senior citizen paying for a cart of groceries in loose change.
I tried to act natural as I waited and checked out. I rushed through the parking lot hoping I wasn't spotted by any of my first- grade students ("Hi Miss Merrill!...Hey, why is your shirt like that?...Oh. I do that too sometimes.") Drove home.
Phew! Safe.
But I took a peek at my self in the mirrow. Hmmmm...It's actually kinda cute.
I wonder what other clothes I have would look good backwards?

Hey Baby, If you've got it, flaunt it!

And you thought you looked bad in a bikini?

My recomendation, part 2

Okay I re-read my blog from this morning about the movie, and perhaps I need a little more explanation. Some of you will watch this movie and think, "What was Christy talking about? This movie is Crazy."
1) There is some S-E-X and some gratuitous male nudity in it, which I'm not even sure why they put that in there. But I guess that's why it's gratuitous.
2) I think the reason it effected me so much was because of the concept of this (fictional) character who wanted to serve, make a difference, and have this big life adventure (sound like anyone you know) but leaves the mission hospital swept up in the seduction of money, power, noteriety. When you watch the movie, there's a line during a confrontation at the end. Amin growls something like, "You thought Africa was just a fairy tale. And you were going to come and play the part of the white man. But we are very real"
It makes me very aware of the need to keep my motives in check as I prepare to do the same thing. I definitely need to keep my heart right as I prepare to enter into another culture, to avoid ever taking on a "savior complex."
There. That's why it effected me.

My recomendation

I saw The Last King of Scotland last night. I have not been effected by a movie in this way in a while. It is truely a great movie, and Forrest Whitaker definately deserved his Oscar for his portrayal of Idi Amin, the president of Uganda during the 70's.
Warning,- it is rated R and deserves every ounce of the that rating, but 95% of it is because of horrific images that boggle the mind. I am still thinking, "Who dreams up torture like that?" You can close your eyes if you need to.
Yes it gave me weird dreams, but somehow it's still in my mind this morning and I can't stop thinking about it.
Let me know your opinion if you've seen it.

The Name Game

I know there is power in the spoken word. What we say about ourselves over and over and over again has a great effect on us. People who say, "I'm stupid," or "I'm not good enough" usually act in a way that reflects that. I know those examples are consious on their parts, but do you ever wonder about what we "unknowingly" say about ourselves and how it effects us?

For example if you speak in tongues, you are edifying yourself without knowing what you're actually saying, (in some cases). Those words have a definate meaning, but you don't really know what they are.

Today this all kinda dumped on me as I read the introduction of Ezra. "Ezra" means "help."
I thought to myself, "Some of us don't even know what our names mean, but we identify ourselves by them"
Have you ever noticed that when you find out what a friend's name means, it's very fitting! Is it because they have titled themselves by that name for all of these years? Is it a self fulfilling prophecy? (Lord, I hope not. "Sanjaya" means "victory")

My friends' (joanne and miss Jean) name means "God is gracious" and it's very fitting for both of them.
Have you ever noticed God changed people's names? Abram became Abraham, the "father of many nations." Simon became Peter the "Rock" Jacob became Isreal "One who struggles with God."
For years I unknowingly called myself the "Famous light of Christ." Is it any wonder I'm going to serve as a missionary?

So what is your name, and what does it mean? Does it fit? Do you want to change it now? hee hee.

The gig is up!

My mom finally read my blog. This was her response:

O.K. YOUNG LADY YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE...................

HOW'S THE BELLY RING ??????????????

AS FOREST GUMP SAYS "THATS ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT"...............

MOM

I knew she hadn't read it because i saw her twice this weekend and she never mentioned it. And I wasn't about to mention it!

All Aboard!

Yea! My church is getting on board.
Thanks Shanna, for all of your hard work and pushing, pushing, pushing.

Cool sight

Okay, so Shanna Ten Clay tipped me off to this web page, Follow the Rabbi. Just click over there in my links.
It's addicting. Be warned.
But it is so awesome. I could just read for hours. It is so relevent and explains the cultural atmosphere of biblical times, and the significance of Jesus's words, actions, choices, ect. It's so cool, I just had to share.

That's Children's Cup!

I read this the other day:
"Master," Simon replied, "We worked hard all last night and didn't catch a thing. But if you say so, we'll try again." And this time their nets were so full they began to tear! A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge on sinking. Luke 5:5-7

When I read it, the words almost popped off the page at me. "That's Children's Cup!!!" With their obedience, they have an abundance of work to do. They have been praying for God to send more partners and helpers to do the work God has given them. But not only are the new partners sharing the work load, but they are also sharing the blessings!
Are you being called off of the shores?

Caught ya!!!!!

Look at this little rascal! My bed was perfectly made. He just lay there unashamed, and let me take his picture.

Tyler, Ernesto, and $300 bucks

This is my roomate for the next week, Tyler. He's such a sweetie.
And he is sitting on my new carpet!

As you might know I've needed new carpet in the bedrooms for a while. The old carpeting was worn, dirty and pet stained. Well, I tried to get some last fall, and Lowes was going to charge me $1,200 for my two tiny bedrooms! That's crazy. No, wait, that's right, it was on sale. I was going to get the bargain price of $900. Home depot couldn't offer me a much better deal.
But I couldn't justify it. No matter how much i wanted it. I could not spend that much on two tiny bits of carpet.
Well, leave it to my momma. She found the nicest man, named Ernesto, to do her carpeting. and since he did such a nice job she refered me to him.
He came this morning, and completed the job,- carpet, padding, and labor for $300! Now that's more like it!
If any of you are looking for some carpeting, let me know, I'll give you his #.
It smells like new carpet in my house now. :0)
It's pretty, clean, and free of pet stains.
Did you hear me Tyler? Free of pet stains!

Belly blues

"No one said it would be easy. But no one said it'd be this hard"
Oh sing it Sheryl Crow.
After longing for 13 years I got my belly button ring. And I love it, don't get me wrong. But I had no idea it would be so high maintanance. I'm not a high maintanance kinda gal. I thought it would be like getting my ears pierced.
Twist twice and add some solution. Done
Nope. I was very niave.
First you have to wash it with dial soap. No biggie. Then you have to soak it twice a day in sea salt water. Yes sea salt. Imagine the physical act. I have to fill a tiny tupperware of salt water, then hang my belly forward and press it real hard and then bend way far back and try to balance and lie down on the couch without spilling it out of the tupperware. This has meant farwell to the snooze alarm so I can have the extra time for this sanitary routine.
No peroxides allowed
No ointment allowed.
And all of this might be worth it if it worked. But appearantly it is still the general expectation that my piercing will get an infection at some point in the next 2 months. Yes, I said 2 months. I've yet to talk to anyone who hasn't gotten an infection. In fact the official care guide from the tattoo parlor says, that the piercing needs to be de-crusted regularly, and the bar must stay inserted at all cost, to let it seep.
Ewwwwww.
No one ever told me that part.
Is it all worth it? I don't know. But what's done is done and I'm not about to undo it. So I guess this is a ow-y icky course in perserverance.

Those Paparazzi Follow Me Everywhere

Okay, not really...
My friend Michelle had this article about me printed in her neighborhood's newsletter.
No one has asked me for an autograph yet, but it's only a matter of time I'm sure. But don't worry. I'll always remember the little people who helped get me here.

Huh?

A few months ago, Dave Ohlerking of Children's Cup posted a blog titled, Hell Money, It's no Joke. It was an interesting exposure to the Chinese Culture's idea that by "sacrificing" money by burning it, it would go to their anscestors to use.
Okay. I can kinda get that.
But then today I read a news article about the new trend in "sacrificing" lots of things, including television sets, and get this... Viagra!!! No, I'm not making this up. They are burning paper representations of the little blue pill, as well as condoms for their randy ancestor.
So... if you've already died, do you need to be concerned about safe sex?
I mean, are sexually transmitted diseases a threat if you are already dead?

A Woman's Perogative

Okay. Nevermind.
My last post was about how much I loved the snow. Then I ventured out into it.
I hate snow.
It was freezing cold and this particular kind was the sleety-stingy kind that hurt your face when it pinged you. Then it made the roads/intersections/parking lots very slippery. So Shanna's front wheel drive Saab, wasn't really going to cut it. I spent a lot of time pushing the car backwards while wearing heeled boots, a fall jacket and no gloves.
I hate snow.
To top it off, we were tired of getting stuck where ever we went. So we parked at the hotel and walked to TGIFridays.
More ice, more cold, more stinging pelting sleet.
I hate snow.
I remember why I moved from Michigan.
While searching for an appropriate photo online I found a hilarious photo of a snow middle-finger next to the word "winter" carved in a snow drift.
Yes, my thoughts exactly.
Now I'm once again in NC. I'm drinking tea. I'm walking around in the 75 degree sunshine.

From one extreme...

Yesterday I was in North Carolina. It was in the low 80's. This morning I woke up and drove to Deleware with Shanna for a missions conference.
We're having a snow storm!

No not the flurries that sends North Carolinians in to a panic, but a real, honest to goodness, snowy, slushy, blustery, bone chilling snow storm!!! Oh, it reminds me of my childhood. I'm loving it.

So while Shanna is out at CVS, I 'm sitting at the Marriot, in a cozy chair by the fireplace, posting a blog, and smiling.

No, I couldn't do this everyday, that's why I left Michigan. But once in a while it's nice to enjoy.

Cool quotes (written Feb '07)

I just got home for a conference at the North Raleigh Vineyard. It was called the Fresh Fire for Healing conference. (Or if you're from Kentucky, Fresh Far.)

I listened to great talks from speakers from all over the country. We learned about healing, deliverance, and healing through forgiveness. But also, there were 2 great sessions on shame and fueling ministry with a passion for the lost.
Awesome.
I never would have put the 5 together, but was amazed at how they are all linked.
I learned so much that I could never write it all. But here are two key points that will always stick in my mind.

"We as the church often think of the lost as inferior. 'You're a sinner. You probably are immoral, drink too much beat your wife… Because if you weren't, you'd be sav-ed like me.' But "lost" means just that,- Lost.
I lost a really cool knife that my daughter had given me. It had a knife, a corkscrew, a toothpick, a… microwave, (laugh) and I was so bummed when I lost it. It was still just as valuable, just as important, fully functioning when it was lost. But it was no use to its owner"
-Barry, Kentucky

"Shame is not biblical.
But don't get confused with what I'm saying. I'm not talking about guilt [conviction]. We need a healthy amount of guilt, or else we'd get hard hearted… I'm talking about shame.
Guilt is, "I did something wrong."
Shame is "I am wrong."
-Mike Nelson, Raleigh NC

Young Girl/ Old Lady

Do you remember this picture? You can look one time and it's a young girl. The next time it's an old lady.
That's how I've been feeling lately.
I think I'm getting old.
Let me explain.
I found something in my hair last night. I don't really know what it is. It's so foreign to me I can't identify it. I found one two Decembers ago. It was short and kinky and shimmery-silvery. Well you know how much I like things that shimmer. I got so excited! I thought I was growing Christmas Tinsel. I plucked it out and hung it on my tree. But now it's February and the tinsel sprouted again. Hmmm...maybe it's not tinsel.
I think I'm getting old.
But then again, two people asked me last week if I was a UNC student when they heard I lived in Chapel Hill. THAT doesn't happen to old people.
But there was that time several years ago I went to a Nickleback concert in a bar with James. I kept thinking "The music is too loud. The air is too smokey. Does the singer really have to drop the F-bomb in every song? Is it really fair that my bottled water is $4 when James's beer is only $2?"
The irony is, in college, I use to seek out the loud music, and the smokey bars. My budget didn't allow the expensive drinks, and I was the one dropping the F-bomb.
I think I'm getting old.
But wait! When I flew to Brazil last summer, the flight attendant wouldn't serve me. She kept saying, "Are you SURE you're at least 21?" I just smiled and reassured I was WELL past 21.
So maybe I'm not.
After all, I can still dance! But I'm starting to wonder,- Does it still count that you "Drop it like it's hot"....even if it takes you a while to pick it back up again?
I think I'm getting old.
No, no wait. A parent just told me that her son said, "Miss Merrill always tells us she's 57. But she only looks about 19."
He's getting straight A's this semester.
That doesn't happen to old people. But that fact that I'm flattered instead of insulted makes me wonder...
I've seriously been considering getting a ruler tattooed vertically on my abdomen. That way I can determine if the "geese are flying south"
I think I'm getting old.
But I'm still a six-year-old at heart..
Well maybe in light of all of this ridiculous reflections, I can concede:
I think I'm getting old...-er.

Have you no shame?

One on my most amusing students, Gabe, made me laugh the other day.
"Hey, Miss Merrill...do you know what's so great about me?"

Oh to be six and have no shame! But that's how I want to be! I want to live shame-free. Not to exhault myself above anyone, but to accept myself perfectly,- just how I was made. There's nothing wrong with me, or how I am!

So here I go! I am releasing my inner six- year- old.

Hey guys, do you know what's so great about me?

I love words that rhyme.
I think kittens are cute.
Sparkle is my favorite color.
Sometimes in the shower I play naked belly-drums.
I often entertain myself in the mirror by making faces, and laughing.
I talk to Jesus daily. Not prayerly- but like we're hanging out. He "gets" me, and doesn't mind my cheesy jokes.
I love cheesy jokes. (What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Damn.) hee hee hee.
I crack myself up with my own cheesy jokes.
Some times I eat peanut butter fingers for a snack (open jar, dip, lick)
I get homesick for Africa, and I haven't even lived there yet.
I cry when others get baptised.
I thought I was immune to sag. Whoda thought age would do that to me?
If I squish all of my belly fat together around my belly button, it looks like a bagel (thanks for showing me that trick HD)

sigh. Releif! Comment on the things that make you so great! Go ahead. Let loose. No shame!

Lost

Last weekend I went to visit my good friend Mary in D.C. We spent a lot of time reminiscing about the old days when she and I were roommates, and we along with Heidi made an eclectic 3 musketeers. As we drove into the city I remembered a time we three went to DC to visit Mary's sister. Somehow we got all turned around and lost. She called Lizzy and was trying to navigate and drive and figure out how to get to her house.

"Well," Mary said, "I think if we keep driving …we'll get somewhere."
Huh huh huh. Profound Mary. Profound.

Now of course, she was trying to tell Lizzy that things look familiar, and she thought eventually we'd get to a place she recognized. But it didn't happen.

See, that's the thing about being lost. You're lost. If you knew where you were, or how to get someplace from there, you wouldn't be lost.
Yet we as Christians often expect the lost to find their way. I was listening to a CD this morning, the man said, "Jesus is calling the lost. He wants them to come to Him."

But they're lost. They don't know their way. That's why they're lost.
I disagree with that CD man.
Remember this winter when the news kept reporting that hikers were getting lost in the mountains of Oregon? What did they do? They sent out rescue missions. They went out to find the lost. Why? Because those lost hikers were important.
Life was valued.

I believe Jesus is sending us out as a seek- and- rescue mission to find the lost for him.
To expect them to find their way is like Mary's humorous statement:" If they keep going, they'll get somewhere."
Of course they will. But where?
Jesus?
Doubtful.

To tell my daughter

Look to the side and find the link to Rachel's blog. Go there and find the poem, To tell my daughter. I love it. I want to light my sparkler now!!!!!!!

Snow Day

I've always said, "The only thing better than a snow day as a kid,...is a snow say as an adult!"
This is the first snow day we've had in years! The funny thing is, here in North Carolina, they cancel school because the weatherman predicted snow was coming. I get a kick out of that every time.
This morning I sat ever so gratefully in my rocking chair, which I pulled close to my side window. Wrapped in a blanket, I looked out towards the woods and watched the fat flakes float ever so gracefully to the ground.
I drank coffee. I read my bible. I prayed. I enjoyed bits of the Today show. I walked up the street on to my mailbox, and on the way home I took a couple of turns sledding with the little girl who lives next door.
Now, I'm sipping hot cocoa, and comtemplating how I'll get those muddy grass stains out of the knees of my jogging pants. I don't remember sledding being that messy in my childhood. But it's all good.
Sigh. What a great day.

The Simple Things in Life

I'm not a fancy gal. I've always prided myself in enjoying the simple things in life. After all, if you are only happy with big events and big ticket items, then you won't be happy all to often, right? I only experience "big" things once in a blue moon. But finding joy in little things,- a sunset, cooking dinner, a hug from a child,- these are things I get to do everyday. I find happiness in all of these things, and count myself blessed.
But last fall, I went through a very difficult time. I was having difficulty finding happiness in anything, big or small. I felt very isolated, and disconnected from people I care about, but when the opportunity came to connect with someone, I really didn't feel like it. I would do the things I love, only to find that there was no satisfaction in them. I would cry on a daily basis.
I was confident it was a spiritual season that I needed to go through, but it didn't make is any easier. It reminded me of one of the Chronicles of Narnia, when Eustice, the unlikable cousin, is turned into a dragon. When he suddenly reappears as a boy, everyone questions how it happened. He discribes a visit from Aslan, who used his sharp claws to tear the dragon flesh from his body, revealing the boy inside. It said is was so painful, but when he was done, Aslan bathed him in the pool to sooth him.
Something was being torn from me as well, and it was painful.
I asked a trusted friend, "Is this depression?" While she agreed it had a lot of symptoms of depression, she assured me that if it was from God, then it wasn't, it was just a tough season would cause me to be blessed when I came out the other side.
I remember having this (unintentionally prideful) pity party for myself as I talked to God in my kitchen.
"You know God, I'm not one of those people who have to find my happiness in things; Big houses, designer clothes, new cars. They're all selfish and superficial. They don't appreciate the important things like family, friends and faith. They think happiness comes from "stuff" and don't realize that joy comes from a relationship with you. I get it. I appreciate the simple things in life. But now I can't even seem to find joy in any of them."
And he responded saying, "All of these things, are mundane. You've only enjoyed them because I put my blessing upon them. That's what makes them enjoyable to you."
I realized that He was right. (Duh) The simple things in life were still just that,- things. And when he removed HIs blessings from them for a season, He showed me that I couldn't find happiness in those things anymore then "selfish, superficial" people could find their happiness in cars, houses, and designer clothes. I had to take a long hard look in the mirror, and practice what I preach. I had to look to Him for my joy, and count the rest as gifts from Him.
He confirmed this for me in His Word today: ...Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from Him? Ecclesiastes 3:24
So I'm blogging this today as I'm watching the snow fall from the window of my very first house. I've waited 2 1/2 years to do this. I'm very excited! And I'm drinking simple Pilao. And I'm in my simple pajamas. And later I will simply read a book.
And I am thanking Him for blessing all of it, so I can enjoy them as much as I am!

Okay what now?

Right after Christmas, Pastor CJ gave a great sermon called "Okay, what now."
I was really impressed. So go to itunes, and get it as a pod cast. You will really enjoy it.

What did you say?

So get this…
My mom had foot surgery last fall. Lots of you know this. Just bunion surgery, but I know it was painful before hand and a slow recovery.
So on Christmas morning I sat in a rocker and she sat next to me on the floor. She looked at my foot and said, "Oh you have a bunion too."
I guess I didn't know what a bunion was. I always thought my foot just stuck out there on the side. No worries. It had never bothered me before.
In all her mommy-ness she started rubbing it and cooing," Oh my poor baby. You got a bunion too. You gonna grow up all stiff like your momma, and someday You're gonna have to have surgery just like your old momma." Rub. Rub. Rub.
I thought to myself. "Psh!.. Don't wish that on me." But I blew it off, and she just kept rubbing my foot (it felt nice) and talking like that.
Well I'll be darned if my bunion didn't start hurting after that! The weeks following my foot HURT! I would wear certain shoes and it would hurt so bad I'd have to wear slippers for a few days.
There were night I woke up and it hurt so bad I couldn't lay it on the mattress I'd have to have rigged up just right so the bunion part could hang off into the air over my bottom foot. Some days I had to change outfits! While getting dressed, I had to consider if my pants were too long, requiring me to wear heeled boots,- because boots or heels would hurt soooo bad!
I didn't know what to do! I'd never had foot problems before!
Then I remembered what had happened at Christmas.
I went to a trusted friend (i.e. one who wouldn't laugh at me) ad asked if it was possible for someone to speak a problem into your life. Then I went to my small group and sheepishly asked, "I know this sounds crazy, but is it possible that my mom unknowingly did this?"
Adam, thought about it, and said, "Can I ask you? Is you mom a Christian?"
"Yes."
"Well, then she holds the keys to the kingdom. And what ever she binds in earth is bound in heaven. And whatever she looses on earth is loosed in heaven." (Some translations say whatever is forbidden, or allowed.)
Hmmmm. I think he's right! The Bible doesn't say what ever we intentionally forbid, or intentionally allow. It says forbid and allow. So I believe that my mom, with her authority as a Christian was unknowingly speaking things into my life!
We prayed that night to reverse all of the problems, and you know I've had not problems since! I've intentionally worn painful shoes just to test it out,- and it's fine. In fact my bunion foot now feels better than my fine foot!
So the lessons learned? While we can't control what others say, we definitely can counter it in "binding " prayer, if someone says something counter to the word of God. And We need to be conscious of what we allow to come out of our mouths as Christians! Like my momma says, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

Leggins the new trend for men? I don't think so!

hee hee heee hee! whoa-ho ho ho ho ho ha hah ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Whoo hoo!

We've been duped!!!!!

Remember how in the Wizard of Oz, the Great Oz was seen as big, powerful, mysterious, and awesome? There was smoke, and fire and a big floating head.
But when the curtain was pulled away, well, he was just a pitiful little man. He'd fooled so many people with Hollywood type special effects, smoke and mirrors, loud noises, and a booming voice.

Look at how Isaiah discribes Satan when he is cast down into hell:
"Those who see you will gaze at you, They will ponder over you, {saying,} 'Is this the man who made the earth tremble, Who shook kingdoms, Who made the world like a wilderness, And overthrew its cities, Who did not allow his prisoners to {go} home?' Chapter 14:15-17

We've been duped! Satan is strying to fool us in thinking he is this big powerful influence over us. But he's only influencial over us if we don't know he's already been defeated.

In the book I'm reading, What Satan Can and Cannot Do, by Larry Reavis, he offers a great illustration:

When the Gulf War ended in 1991 and Operations Desert Storm was considered a sucess, there was a meeting in Southern Iraq to discuss the peace terms. When General Schwartzkopf and his commanders met with the Iraqi general and his commanders, they were not there to discuss anthing Iraq wanted or decided. Iraq had been defeated. Iraq was told to be at the meeting, to hear what they were going to do to comply with U.N. resolutions. They were told in the meeting, "You will do such and such. You will not cross over this parallel. You will allow this group of people to live here. If you fly over this area, you will be shot down. All of your nuclear weaponry and materials will be destroyed and will be inspected at any time" and so on. Iraq did not dictate the terms of the surrender: they were defeated. Defeated foes to not dictate the terms. The Allied Forces dictated to them. You dictate to the conquered foe...Somehow in my mind's eye I see this meeting in heaven. I listen. It's as if Satan is hauled before the general council in Heaven and God says, "Here are the terms and you will abide by them. If they cast you out in the Name of Jesus, you are cast out. If they bind you in the name of Jesus, you are bound. If they lay hands on the sick in the Name of Jesus, the sick will recover"- my partial paraphrase of Mark 16:17-18.

He's already been defeated!(Luke 10:18-19) He can shout all he wants, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" but it's too late.
We've already seen him.
Pitiful little man.

From the mouth of Babes

Each year my kids crack me up. Here are some classics from the last 8 years of teaching.

At Christmas we were reading a Christmas ABC book. X was eXcelces. Shane asked, "What's that mean?"
Well, wouldn't you know I couldn't for the life of me remember. I was honest. "I don't honestly remember...But I know it's a really old word."
"Why can't you remember? "Asked Gabe. "You're kinda real old."


Gabe also had me rolling last week. "Hey! Miss Merrill, can you guess my middle name? It starts with an S"
"Is it Stephen?"
"Nope." Then he says, to himself, outloud, "Sc-o-tt"
"Is it Scott?" I asked
His eyes were as big as saucers! "How did you guess that?!!!!! I was just sounding it out to myself so I could give you the last sound as a clue."

We're learning about Martin Luther King Jr. Our conversation went like this:
Me:"....And that's called a boycott."
Davis:"Miss Merrill? If that's a boycott, is there a girl-cott?"

During my student teaching our social worker walked through our class during carpet time to collect our attendance folder. LaCarra saw him and shout out, "I know Mr. Williams,- He stays the night with my momma!"

Last December the grocery store was selling some terribly dry oranges and I was getting very frustrated. Before peeling one at lunch, I joked with my kids, "Okay, cross your fingers. Let's hope this one's juicy."
Mason immediately clasped his hands, closed his eyes and prayed. "Dear God. Let this one be juicy. I love Santa. Amen!"
I guess he just wanted to cover all the bases.

Darn that Brazilian coffee!

I love Pilao. I do. I love it. But I should have learned by now, never drink it after 12pm. It's 1:23 am and I'm still awake because I had 2 cups at 4pm. Sigh. About midnight I gave up hope of sleep and got out of bed and finished wall papering my kitchen.
This isn't the first time it's happened either. My house has often had walls painted, furniture rearranged, and the re-rearranged, drawers cleaned, cracks spackled all because of Pilao.
Who would have thought a simple coffee bought in bulk as a friendly brazilian Sam's club would cause so much trouble?
Hope pastor doesn't mind too much if I fall asleep during church tomorrow.

All in how you look at it

My house is in the middle of nowhere. Well, at least it was when I bought it 2 1/2 years ago. Now this area is booming. But up until this summer there was no place to go and hang out, or get something to eat/drink. You'd have to drive all the way into Chapel Hill or Durham.
You can imagine my excitement when a new plaza was developed just a mile from my house. Jennifer and I both prayed for a coffee shop. Anything really,- starbucks, panera, carribou. Just anything!
And then it came. Harris teeter opened, and right inside the doors was a starbucks. Now I'd never go sit at the little tables and drink coffee with friends in the middle of a grocery store, but hey, if you wanted a decent cup of joe, it was right at your finger tips. And the shopping carts all have a little metal cricle to put a cup in so you can drink overpriced carmel, mocha, half caffs, with a shot of skim while you shop.
HOWEVER, as I was shopping the other day I walked out to my car and noticed across the parking lot has now opened a starbucks. Yes another one. Yes, across the parking lot. Yes, just a dozen parking spaces and a grassy knoll away. Yes, just 200 yards. ANOTHER STARBUCKS.
WHY?
I got mad. That's ridiculous.
BUT I tried to get on my little soap box with Jennifer, and she changed my perspective:
"They opened another starbucks! Can you believe it? How stupid is that?!!!!"
Elated she exclaimed, "Another one?!!!! That's awesome? Remember we both prayed for one? And now there's 2."
Hmmmm. I didn't think about it that way. We each prayed. and we got doubly blessed. Blessed beyond reason really.
Hmmmmm. Now imagine if we prayed for something that actually mattered...

Prepare for Battle

Joshua and the Isrealites were finally in. No surprise really. God had promised the land to them. Each tribe was given their portion of land. It was theirs and all they had to do was drive out the inhabitants to claim the land as their own.

But there were problems

"But the tribe of Judah could not drive our the Jebusites, who lived in the city of Jerusalem, so the Jebusites live there among the people of Judah to this day." Joshua 15:63

Some tribes asked for a bigger spot because the inhabitants were taking up so much space.

"The descendants of Joseph came to Joshua and asked, "Why have you given us only one portion of land when the Lord has given us so many people?"…They said, "The hill country is not enough for us, and the Canaanites in the lowlands around Beth-shan and the valley of Jezreel have iron chariots-they are too strong for us." (Joshua 17:14-16)

Joshua agreed to give them the forest areas to clear out, which pacified them, but in the end they didn't clear that out either. (Judges 1:27)

So many Isrealites chose to live out their days co-mingling with the people they were supposed to run out. Although they would have been victorious by God's promise, they simply thought it was too hard, or too much work. And the book of Judges records lots of problems later on because of this co-habitation.

This makes me think of myself, my friends, my family, my church, and all believers. It makes me wonder.

How many of us are living with the enemy simply because it's "too hard" to drive them out?

No, we don't have Jebusites in our neighborhoods, but we defiantly have hurts that we refuse to forgive, addictions that we haven't kicked, weight that needs to be shed, debt that has to be paid, sin that we put off confessing, relationships that should to be healed, and apologies that need to be made.

Sure we walk around quoting Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" but yet we don't even attempt the hard stuff. Or when we attempt it once, and get defeated by the iron chariots, sigh, and throw our hands up saying, "Well I tried, but they were too strong for me."

We continue to settle for less than what God has promised us. Even though we have the promise of victory, we continue to live with the sin in our lives because it's too hard to conquer it.

Christmas

Well, Christmas has come and gone. I was recovering from the flu but still ate like a champ and had a good time with my family. I fell asleep on Christmas Eve wondering where I'll be next year.
I sometimes long to have a little kiddie at Christmas to experience Christmas through their eyes again. However this year, I got to experience Christmas morning with Gabby, my mom's 3 year old dog. She's more entertaining than any kid. She was so excited to open presents and just played and played. Then she gathered all of her toys together in a pile and slept in the middle of them. Later she longed for desert, but, that was just for people.

Another interesting twist was the double sweater present. I'd bought my step dad a great sweater the day after Thanksgiving. I knew he'd love it! I couldn't wait to give it to him. On Christmas morning he opened it... and then just looked confused. I couldn't understand why he wasn't excited. Then he reached down and opened another present,- the same sweater. He'd found it at the mall a few days before and bought it for himself! Well, at least I know he likes it!

Praise the Lord

"The voice of the LORD will shatter Assyria; with his scepter he will strike them down. Every stroke the LORD lays on them with his punishing rod will be to the music of tambourines and harps, as he fights them in battle with the blows of his arm." Isaiah 30:31-32 NKJV

"After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever." As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated." 2 Chronicles 20: 21-22

"You have taught children and nursing infants to give you praise. They silence your enemies who were seeking revenge" Psalm 8:2

"I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. My enemies turn away in retreat; They are overthrown and destroyed before you" Psalm 9:2

Verse after verse I'm hearing lately has to do with Praising God. Okay, Okay I get it. There's something in here I really need to get hold of. Through all of the devotionals I've read lately, there is a thread. Our praising God does 2 things here in the natural. It stops the enemy in his tracks and brings about mighty moves of God on our behalf.

And on reflecting on these verses I think I see a case in my own life where this applies, even though I didn't know I was applying this principal.

As many of you know my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1990. Well a couple of summers ago, I went home to visit and returned to North Carolina. While nothing unusual or concerning happened during my visit, a few weeks after my return, I got a very unsettling feeling that I would loose my dad. I remember standing in my kitchen and crying, telling Jennifer, "I don't know why, but I feel like my dad is going to die." The weeks passed on and nothing ever happened, but occasionally that feeling would pop into my head and haunt me.
Then December came and I got the phone call. My brother called and said our dad's cancer had come out of remission and he'd been hiding it from me for a while because he didn't want me to worry.
I sat there numb.
This was it.
This is what the feeling had been all about.
And as strange as it felt at the time, all I felt like doing was praising God. So I did. It was the only thing that felt right, normal, good.
After a while I emailed my small group and pastor with this:

....But this is what I'd ask of you: First: PRAISE GOD!!! My mind tells me praising God at a time like this seems strange, yet my spirit has been singing all morning. I've been playing my cds all and I can't seem to get enough. So please join me in praising our father with all of your sincerity and all of your heart. He is a loving, powerful, awesome God who has placed me in a difficult situation yet not abandoned me. I feel his presence and strength today. And while I'm afraid of the outcome of my dad's battle I know that god's plan is so much bigger than me, my dad, or our family. Thank you Father, and Thank you Jesus.

I'm sure there were lots of people everywhere praying. I tried to get people praisin'.

Of course that was 2 years ago and my dad is still going stong. When the average lung cancer patient dies within 4 months of their diagnosis, my dad is aproaching his 17 year anniversary.
Could I have "heard wrong" that summer? It wouldn't be the first time.
Could Satan have been lying to me. Sure, he's good at that.
But maybe, just maybe, something in the spiritual realm was effected and changed that day when lots and lots of people stoped "asking" and starting celebrating who God is.

Get yo' praise on .

Don't have Time for Friends?

okay maybe you don't have 30 minutes to sit down and watch a 30 minute episode, let alone 10 seasons. I know we're all busy people
So here:

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=e2e02ad6d9d1646cfa12ec8f270ae1ad.1293548&cache=1


This is a 90 second video of the entire series!!

Christmas Bells are Ringing

I've been volunteering as a Salvation Army bell ringer this year. It's been quite an unexpected blessing. It's nice to see how people will go out of their way to give a bit of money. Thursday night was rainy, but people would still stop and dig through their purse or pocket to find some change or a small bill. They wanted to do it, it was important to them.
You know somedays I think everyone is a big stingy scrooge. But this has helped me see that people still go out of their way to help others. :0)

Everything?!!!!!!

I wrote this to my prayer/financial partners in Feb, and felt it on my heart again recently:



I saw this as I was looking up a scripture and God told me "this is for your partners." It comes from
1 Samuel 30. King David and his men return home to find that Amalekites have raided their home carrying off their wives, their children, and all their stuff! Yikes! So what does he do?
First, he gets the green light from God. Then he takes some of his men, and goes to the Amalekite encampment. He finds them partying and having a good time.
"…Eating, drinking, dancing with joy because of the vast amount of plunder they had taken from the Philistines and the land of Judah. David and his men rushed in among them and slaughtered them throughout the night…David got back everything the Amalekites had taken... Nothing was missing: small or great, son or daughter, nor anything else that had been taken. David brought back everything. His troops rounded up all the flocks and herds and drove them ahead…" (vs.16-20)
Well David and his men return home where some men had been staying behind to guard the home front. Well some of the selfish soldiers don't want to share the rewards.
(vs.22-25) "…But some of the troublemakers among David's men said, 'They didn't go with us, so they can't have any of the plunder. Give them their wives and children, and tell them to be gone.' But David said, 'No, my brothers! Don't be selfish with what the LORD has given us. He has kept us safe and helped us defeat the enemy. …We share and share alike- those who go to battle and those who guard the equipment.' From then on David made this a law for all of Israel, and it is still followed." [All emphasis mine]
Do you see what I saw in these verses? The enemy had raided them. But God gave them permission and empowered them to go and take back what the enemy had stolen. He sent them. And nothing was left unaccounted for. Every child, every wife, every sheep, every George-Forman grill, every cell phone, - everything!!!!!! God kept his eye on every person and every thing stolen by the enemy. He knew where each thing was- and he sent David and his men to get it back!!!
But David didn't just need his soldiers. He left some of the men home to take care of business there and hold down the fort. And they were rewarded just as lavishly as those who did the footwork. They were not forgotten because David realized the value of the job they'd done back home. I mean you can't really make much progress getting your stuff back if another enemy comes and steals your remaining stuff back home. Am I right? So those men back home were just as important and served a crucial role.
This is totally a story of all of you and me together as a group? Do you see that?
Who am I? I'm David and the soldiers, being empowered and sent into Africa to reclaim what the enemy has stolen: The children's hope, their joy, their hearts. He has no right to them, and I'm going to TAKE THEM BACK!!!
Who are you? You are the men back home, making it possible. You allow me to go and do the footwork when you hold down the fort with prayer and support. When I know I' m protected, I can go boldly, confidently.
But which group of us will be rewarded for our efforts? We both will; those who go and those who work behind the scenes. David made that law thousands of years ago, and it is still followed! Hallelujah!!!!

I am a Christian

I AM A CHRISTIAN
By Maya Angelou
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
> I'm whispering "I was lost,"
> Now I'm found and forgiven.
>
> When I say..."I am a Christian"
> I don't speak of this with pride.
> I'm confessing that I stumble
> and need CHRIST to be my guide.
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I'm not trying to be strong.
> I'm professing that I'm weak
> and need HIS strength to carry on.
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I'm not bragging of success.
> I'm admitting I have failed
> and need God to clean my mess.
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I'm not claiming to be perfect,
> My flaws are far too visible
> but, God believes I am worth it.
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I stil! l feel the sting of pain,
> I have my share of heartaches
> So I call upon His name.
>
> When I say... "I am a Christian"
> I'm not holier than thou,
> I'm just a simple sinner
> who received God's good grace, someho