My dirty Panties

I can't believe I forgot to tell you this story!
When we had the Christmas in July party we played the infamous White Elephant game.
I got first pick of presents. I was secretly so happy because I knew someone would inevitably steal my prize (whatever it was) and then I would get to pick another and another. My whole evening would be unwrapping presents, and really that's the fun of the game.
So I picked a big, shiny present, with a big bow. I was so happy!
I unwrapped it to find... underwear.
Yes, they were white cotton panties, folded nicely.
Ok. whatever. I guess you can't go wrong with panties. right?
But as I started to pick them up and unfold them to show the crowd I noticed a whole lotta brown.
WHAT??????!!!!!!I almost freaked out, until I realized it was actually chocolate melted into them, and not, well, you know.

Needless to say no one wanted to steal them from me. So I sat trying to promote them so I could have them stolen and then choose another, any other, gift.
I tried to model them.
No use.
I tried to promote them as "edible underwear."
No use.
Finally, the last gift of the night, a guy stole them.
I think he was just having mercy on me.
I ended up with a bottle of perfume.
Much better.