The Treasure Box

In my first grade classroom I have a treasure box. On occasion my students get to pick a prize to keep for themselves. I'm always adding to it with trinkets, or toys from Happy Meals, so it's brimming with some neat things. I have a bunch of cool toys that make noise, or blink or require batteries. But those are usually wrapped in plastic wrappers so 6-year-olds can't really get a good idea of what the toy is, or what it does. So they always seem to pick a balloon, or an eraser or something?
In my mind I always think, "That's what you want? I've got all of this cool stuff and you pick that for yourself? No, no, no, let me choose a real treasure for you." If they let me choose, I 'd pick a super cool toy, and they'd never be disappointed. I know them well enough to choose a toy that would be perfect for them. The elephant stamper? Well that would go to Erin, - she loves elephants! The tattoo? Well Darius of course. A dinosaur book? It's got Olivia's name written all over it.
My students often short change themselves because they can't clearly understand all of the options. You and I get like that when we make our own decisions without God's guidance. We often look around a situation, and choose from the options we see presently. But God's got an abundance of blessings in his storehouse, and He wants to give us his best, not just the best of the options we know about.
My friend Lauskya recently vented her frustrations about her job search. "I'm not happy where I'm at. And I keep applying to really great jobs, but I'm not getting them." But she quickly added, "But I know God's got the best in store for me, so I trust Him." She's got the right attitude! She's trusting him, and waiting for Him to provide.
I'm trying to have that attitude.
I've realized God isn't going along with the plan I've concocted for my own life. I thought I had a great plan. Obviously He disagrees. But because He is a loving God, I trust He has the best in store for me. Matthew 7:9 says:
You parents-if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him?
Sometimes this verse alone isn't enough to convince me. So I've followed the example of King David, and have been reflecting on the goodness of God. I've been searching my memories for other times when God has proved himself to be my loving, caring provider.
Ironically, today is the 6 year anniversary of my wedding-that -never- was. Had I gotten my way in 1999, I would have been married to my college sweetheart. When the wedding was called off, and the relationship ended, I was devastated! And yet today when my friend Heather asked, "Are you sad [that you didn't get married]?" I laughed to myself and said "No, because I lack nothing." I'm so thankful now that things didn't go the way I'd planned! I see the opportunities I'd have missed, and the friendship I'd have never made. Coming out from the other side, I can look back at such a difficult period in my life and see the fingerprints of God all over it. He really did have something better in store for me.
So now when I'm frustrated that things aren't going my way, I entertain myself by imaging God's treasure box. As I try to convince Him that an eraser really is the coolest prize, he just chuckles and says, "That's what you want? I've got all of this cool stuff and you pick that for yourself? No, no, no, let me choose a real treasure for you!" I know if I trust him to choose, I'll never be disappointed.

New Life

When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.
Jeremiah 29:12 (The Message)

We serve a God who longs to be known by us. He reveals himself so we might know him better.

When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then, the Lord, will answer them. I, the God of Israel, will never forsake them. I will open up rivers for them on high plateaus. In will give them fountains of water in the valleys. In the deserts they will find pools of water. Rivers fed by springs will flow across the dry, parched ground. I will plant trees-cedar, acacia, myrtle, olive, cypress, fir, and pine- on barren land. Everyone will see this miracle and understand that it is the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, who did it. Isaiah 41:17-20

He waits in anticipation of the day we will respond to his call home and return to him. He can meet us anywhere we are; the highest high (plateaus), the lowest lows (valleys) the spiritually barren (desert). Wherever we are he meets us, with the miracle of restored, abundant, new, life.

Do-It-Yourself

Ever since I bought my house, I've been a real Do-It-Yourselfer. Because there's not a man around the house (yet,) I've had to develop a lot of skills. I've painted walls, tore out carpeting, laid laminate flooring, fixed a leaky toilet, built a screen, dug out flower beds, and reset a water heater. I have a toolbox, a storage shed, and a cordless power drill. I even know what the term 1/4 inch round means (and no ladies, it's not our desired waste line!)

Do-It-Yourself has kinda been my mantra throughout life. Are you like that too? Let's see if you are,-finish this sentence: "If you want something done right…" Ahh! You are!
I guess it's a fine attitude to have with a house, but unfortunately it also carries over to my spiritual life as well. I have a tendency to look out for myself as opposed to letting God take care of things. Some how I have this idea that He needs my assistance, like He doesn't have to power to do it on his own. (How did He ever get by without me? What did He do before I was here in 1977?) So as soon as he offers up a great idea I try to get to work and do it myself;

"A husband? Sounds good to me, Lord. Let me take a look around and I'll choose the one I like okay?"
"New ministry opportunity? Okay, I'll create one."
"Relocating to a new city. Sure I'll go find myself a new job. "
"Change? Okay, Lord, you just sit back and relax, I'll get right on that."

Don't fret. We're not alone, and we're not the first. Sarah and Abraham are known for getting themselves in a jam too. In Genesis, God promised Abraham a son. Sarah however decided that that was impossible because she was so old, so she took matters into her own hands. Poor Sarah could only see a snapshot in time and it made her desperate.

She encouraged her husband to have a baby with her handmaiden. The handmaiden starts teasing Sarah because she can't get pregnant, then Sarah blames Abraham (although it was her idea) eventually the handmaiden and Ishmael were expelled into the wilderness, where Ishmael's descendants became hostile to Israel and to God (Psalm 83:5-6). What a disaster!

I can look in the Bible and see Sarah's idea was crazy, but it's only because I can see the entire story. I can shout at the pages, "Don't do it girlfriend! Be patient!" but it won't change a thing.

But just as we can see the entirety of Sarah's story, God can see the entirety of our story. The Message Bible puts Jeremiah 29:11 like this:

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out,- plans to take care of you, not abandon you. Plans to give you the future you hope for.

We can trust Him, His word, and His promises, without feeling the need to take matters into our own hands.

…patient endurance leads to godliness. Goodliness leads to love for other Christians and finally you will grow to have genuine love fore everyone…
2 Peter 1:6

You will keep in perfect peace, all who trust in you,
Whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

For since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! Isaiah 64:4

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long moths of drought. Their leaves stay green, and the go tight on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:7

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Peace, godliness, love for others, provision, and strength in hard times are just a few benefits we reap when we relax, trust him, and let God be God. We don't have to do it ourselves!

Make Haste

A few summers back I traveled to Richmond, Virginia with my then-boyfriend, James. We were there for a wedding but also to visit his parents. While we were there, his mother, Debbie, wanted to show us the house they were building.
Now I've never been in a house that wasn't complete, but found it fascinating. Sure, we had to hike our legs up into the kitchen from the garage, but stairs are really overrated. And while there was no drywall, carpeting, or appliances, the 2x4's and windows created a skeletal frame of the house it was to become. (I saw it finished 6 months later and it truly was a beautiful house.)
At one point, during the tour of the down stairs Debbie, said, "Oh! I'm so excited. I can't wait. I wish I could move in now." However when we got upstairs, we noticed a puddle of rainwater on the floor. One of the newly installed windows hadn't been sealed properly and had a leak. It made me think, - it was a minimal problem because no one actually lived there. There was no carpet laid, no furniture to ruin, nothing but some plywood. And there's no harm in that getting a little wet. But if Debbie had actually moved her belongings into the incomplete house, a leaky window would have created a big problem. It's best that they found out when they did. The slight problem was rectified in the beginning phases and caused no further havoc. I recognized the value in waiting.
Yet, sometimes in my own impatience I rush into situations ahead of myself, and ahead of God. There have been times, as He's tried to unfold his plan before me, when I get too excited and try to rush the process along. (After all God need's my help, right?) I start thinking of 2 Peter 3:8 "… a thousand years is like a day [to the Lord]" and I begin to get a bit nervous, thinking he'll take too long!
In the end I sometimes make a mess of things. I hastily make decisions and later think to myself, "If I had waited on God, this problem would have been revealed to me and I could have taken care of it in stage one. But now that it's come out, it's just making a bigger mess."
Can you relate? Now, look at his word and see what it says in Psalm 37:

"…Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you. .

…Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act…

The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.
He delights in every detail of their lives.

Thought they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord hold them by the hand.
…Don't be impatient for the Lord to act!

Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you, giving you the land…"

Oh wow! Patience is a good thing! No, not a fun thing, but a good thing.

Learning to Love

I recently read Blue Like Jazz. It's one of my new favorites, - I can totally relate to Donald Miller! Check out this portion from his chapter on Love:

…The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money...If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and I and, perhaps, we feel they are priceless. I could see it so clearly, and I could feel it in the pages of my life. This was the thing that had smelled so rotten all these years. I used love like money. The church used love like money. With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did.
The next few days unfolded like a thick line of melancholy thought and introspection. I used love like money, but love doesn't work like money. It is not a commodity. When we barter with it, we all lose. When they church does not love its enemies, it fuels their rage. It makes them hate us more.
Here's how it worked out on a personal level:
There was this guy in my life at the time, a guy I went to church with whom I honestly didn't like. I thought he was sarcastic and lazy and manipulative, and he ate with his mouth open so that food almost fell from his chin when he talked. He began and ended every sentence with the word dude.
"Dude, did you see Springer yesterday?" he would say. "They had this fat lady on there who was doing it with a midget. It was crazy, dude. I want to get me a midget, dude."
That's the sort of thing he would talk about. It was very interesting to him…regardless; I had to spend a good amount of time with him as we were working on a temporary project together. He began to get under my skin. I wanted him to change. I wanted him to read a book, memorize a poem, or explore morality, at least as an intellectual concept. I didn't know how to communicate to him that he needed to change, so I displayed it on my face. I rolled my eyes, I gave him dirty looks. I would mouth the word loser when he wasn't looking. I thought somehow he would sense my disapproval and change his life in order to gain my favor. In short, I withheld love.
…I knew what I was doing was wrong. It was selfish, and what's more, it would never work. By withholding love from my friend, he became defensive, he didn't like me. He thought I was judgmental, snobbish, proud, and mean. Rather that being drawn to me, wanting to change, he was repulsed. I was guilty of using love like money, withholding it to get someone to be who I wanted them to be. I was making a mess of everything. And I was disobeying God. I became convicted about these things, so much so that I had some trouble getting to sleep. It was clear that I was to love everybody, be delighted at everybody's existence, and I had fallen miles short of God's aim. The power of Christian spirituality has always rested in repentance, so that's what I did. I repented. I told God I was sorry. I replaced economic metaphor, in my mind, with something different, a free gift metaphor or a magnet metaphor. That is, instead of withholding love to change somebody, I poured it on, lavishly. I hoed that love would work like a magnet, pulling people from the mire and toward healing. I knew this was the way god loved me. God had never withheld love to teach me a lesson.
Here is something very simple about relationships that Spencer helped me discover: nobody will listen to you unless they sense that you like them.
If a person senses that you do not like them, that you do not approve of their existence, then your religions and your political ideas will all seem wrong to them. If they sense that you like them, then they are open to what you have to say.
After I repented, things were different, but the difference wasn't with my friend, the difference was with me. I was happy. Before, I had all this negative tension flipping around in my gut, all this judgmentalism and pride and loathing of other people. I hated it, and now I was set free. I was free to love. I didn't have to discipline anybody, I didn't have to judge anybody, I could treat everybody as though they were my best friend, as though they were rock stars or famous poets, as though they were amazing, and to me they became amazing, especially my new friend. I loved him. After I decided to let go of judging him, I discovered he was very funny. I mean really hilarious. I kept telling him how funny he was. And he was smart, quite brilliant; really, I couldn't believe that I had never seen it before. I felt as though I had lost an enemy and gained a brother. And then he began to change... It didn't matter to me whether he did or not, but he did. He began to get a little more serious about God. He gave up television for a period of time as a sort of fast. He started praying and got regular about going to church. He was a great human being getting even better. I could feel God's love for him. I loved the fact that it wasn't my responsibility to change somebody, that it was God's; my part was just to communicate love and approval…

Community

Certain things just come naturally in groups. You never see one grape on a vine, or one grit in a bowl. Oprah always comes with Gail; Bert is lost without Ernie; and Me without Heidi? … well, it just seems a bit strange. It's just not natural to be alone. Community is important.
In Genesis 2:18 sin had not yet entered the garden, yet as Pastor Kyle Ray points out, "The Bible says that there was something that was 'not good'" Read it for yourself:

It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion to help him.

And I believe that's the point. Anyone who would fall into the category of 'community' (friends, family, spouse, mentor, co-worker) has been placed in our lives for help.

Let me give you another example from good ole Mother Nature: Sequoia Redwood trees. These trees are so ginormous,(that's a 1st grade word) they require a whole bunch of water to survive. Therefore they have a very, very shallow root system. Most of their roots lie just below the surface of dirt so as soon as the rain water soaks in, - boom! The roots are there to soak it up.
Only one problem; Roots are suppose to support plants! With such a shallow root system, you'd think that one good storm would blow through and…TIMBER! Down they'd go! Right? Wrong! These trees avoid an untimely death by growing in… community. (That's right, don't be shy. Just shout it out when you know the answer.) The trees grow so close together that their roots intertwine. Above, below, through, and around, they create one massive web of roots that work as support. So when storms blow through, they literally hold each other up! How cool is that? So see where I'm going with this don't you?
When we have "storms" in our lives, it's our community that holds us up. Look at some more cool verses about the support of communities in the Bible:

When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us…For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. (2 Cor.1:4)

Now I want to tell you, dear brothers and sisters, what God in his kindness has done for the churches in Macedonia. Thought they have been going through much trouble and hard times, their wonderful joy and deep poverty have overflowed in rich generosity. For I can testify that they gave not only what they could afford, but far more. And they did it of their own free will. They begged us again and again for the gracious privilege of sharing in the gift for the Christians in Jerusalem. (2 Cor 8:1)

And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity,- all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved. (Acts 2:44)

Rescued

Gabby is my mom's dog. She was a rescued animal and came from the local shelter. While she was cared for well at the shelter, she came to my mom's home with a mix of problems. She was underweight, and had worms. She had mange that made her hair fall out in patches. She was lonely and unloved.
My mom loved her in spite of this and adopted her. Once home, Mom began the tedious process of caring for her. Potty training, obedience, frequent expensive visits to the vet, and administering medications took up a good amount of time and resources. But now, 18 months later, her hard work and investments have paid off. Gabby's had an opportunity to run and play, instead of always being cooped up in a kennel. She's received the medication to cure her illnesses, and had received lots of unconditional love. And as a result Gabby is one of the most remarkable dogs you'll ever meet. She's gentle, affectionate, quiet, sweet, loving, and extremely loyal to my Mom.
"It's almost like she remembers how it was before. " My mom once told me. "You know,- like she remembers the sicknesses and neglect; Like she remembers the bad times. That's one dog who understands that she was rescued."

I just spent 3 days in the midst of a wonderful group of Christians. Combined together, our past and present hurts would compile a laundry list of problems that would make Dr. Phil's head spin: Bitterness and unforgiveness, failing health, divorce, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, promiscuity, abandonment, neglect and abuse. All of them have their share of struggles. But they also have the peace and joy of knowing Christ intimately. They worshiped with passion and authenticity, and through tears shared stories.

Regardless of their circumstances, they know He's adopted them into His family. He invests time in them, heals their wounds, and blesses them with unconditional love. As a result, they are gentle, peaceful, loving, and most of all loyal to Him.
Their backgrounds and stories were as individual as their personalities, yet their honesty and humility revealed a common thread, - They are people who understand they've been rescued.

Come In! Come In! Make Yourself at Home.

Last year I bought my first house. After years of dreaming and watching the TLC network I finally had a place to call my own, and decorate with my style. I signed the paperwork at 9 am and by 10:30 I had a bottle of champagne, paint in my hair, and one wall finished. Yes, my remodeling dreams were coming true, but believe me, there was a lot of work to do.
See the previous owner, Eileen, had fancied herself a crafter. The bathroom showed it. The school bus yellow walls, with purple hand-stenciled morning glory border were painful to look at. Literally. Plus, the light fixture was covered with magenta tiles and grout, resembling something a child would make at summer camp. But nothing a few hours and a trip to Home Depot couldn't fix.
"This house will be easy to make over." I thought to myself. "Paint the living room and the bathroom, and Viola! Dream house!"

However things got a little more dramatic on moving day.
Since the temperature was mild, we turned off the air conditioning to leave the doors open as we carried in furniture. My family and friends worked hard all morning, and then…the humidity kicked in. And with the humidity came a horrible smell! Apparently, along with crafting, Eileen also owned a non-potty trained dog. And while she had done a good job removing the stains from the carpet, it still lingered in the padding and even the sub-flooring. The odor resembled fish and urine- and it had to go!
A few weeks later my family and friends were once again hard at work, tearing out stinky carpet and laying beautiful laminate flooring. In the following two days I successfully added the term "1/4 inch round" to my vocabulary and created a home worthy of Ty Pennington's approval. (Oh…let's take a moment to dream of Ty…sigh. Okay, okay, that's enough. No more imagining Ty.)

But imagine with me just for a moment, how ridiculous it would have been if Eileen had tried to manage the house, after she'd sold it to me. She might have said, "I know these living room walls are white and bland, but I'm comfortable that way. I'm not a big fan of change, you know.
And the bathroom? Well, you can see I spent a lot of time stenciling the border on top. And yellow is my favorite. Let's just keep it 'as is' okay?
The odor? Well, I just love my poopsie-woopsie too much to put him outside in the hot sun. Besides, you can only really smell it in the fall…and winter…and spring. Pulling up all the carpet would be a lot of hard work. I really don't think it's necessary."

What would you say to that? Yeah, me too! " This is my house now, and I need to make comfortable so I can live here! I can't settle for this mess!"
Can I confess to you? I've acted like Eileen before. No, not with a house, but with my heart. Ten years ago I invited Jesus to live there, yet I tried to retain control of it's condition. Looking back, I'm sure the conversation could have looked something like this:

"Come in, come in Jesus! Oh, I'm so glad you're here! Please, please, make yourself at home! After all this is your home now. I've emptied out everything so you could fill it. I hope you'll like it here. I'm so excited to have you!
…er... What do you mean? What's what?…Oh! That?…well that's just a bit of jealousy. I don't really us it much, just once in a while. It's just over there for storage, really….
…And that? …Well, that's my food idolatry, - I kinda need that. I mean, what am I supposed to use for comfort? But see, it doesn't take up much room. Just that little corner really. You'll still have plenty of room.
…What smell? Oh, that? I got burned badly once. Yeah, that smell's a bit of bitterness lingering around in the air. I tried a few things to get rid of that but, - you know. I guess it's here for good. That one's not really my fault though, it was his fault…."

Just as silly as Eileen isn't it? In the same way I'd never be able to live in a home that was a stinky, crafty nightmare, Jesus can never live comfortably in a messy heart.

But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language…you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…and the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love…and the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. (Col 3:8-15)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

Jesus is in the professional renovation business. If you invite him in at 9 am, by 10:30 He's already begun to gently remodel. Is the progress slow moving? Could be. Painful? Sometimes. Worth it? Always. Just look at what we are promised in the book of Jude:

But you, dear friends, must continue to build your lives on the foundation of your holy faith. And continue to pray as you are directed by the Holy Spirit. Live in such a way that God's love can bless you as you wait for the eternal life that our Lord Jesus Christ in his mercy is going to give you. (V.20)

Let's get ready for an extreme- makeover!

Recess!!!

As the beginning of the school year draws near, I've been thinking about the new group of first graders who will be filing through my door in a few short weeks. And the one thing I'm dreading…"When, When, When??????"
See, first graders can't tell time; at least not yet. It's one of the skills we work on as part of the math curriculum. So until we get to that point, I am the official timekeeper of the classroom. And it drives me crazy! Let me explain.
The pivotal point of the school day is recess. You remember,- don't pretend you don't. Even thought we act all educated and academic now, as kids the only thing we really wanted was one half hour of playtime nirvana. And the same holds true today.
So while I try to establish a routine with my students in the first weeks of class I am bombarded with question after question after insanity inducing question!!!!!

"What time do we have recess?"
"Is it time now? "
"I see the kindergarders at recess? Why can't we go to recess? We're older we should go first."
"Last year we got to go to recess 2 times. Why can't we go 2 times this year?"
"Is it time for recess?...In the afternoon? …Is it afternoon yet?"

It drives me bananas. What they don't realize is that the only thing better than a being a kid sent out to recess, is being a teacher sending the kids out to recess. We look forward to seeing them go. I just want to tell them, "Listen! I want you to have recess too! And when it's time, I'll tell you. Don't worry. I won't let you miss it!"
But now I have to confess. In life, I tend to be a first grader. When my pastor once asked hypothetically, 'If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be?' I immediately answered '6!' I like words that rhyme, glitter, kittens, and giggling. And I can't tell time. Like my students I can't see the eternal time that God has laid out. And on my insecure days I know I pester him about 'When, when, when."

"When am I getting married? Is it time yet? What about now? She's getting married. Why not me? I'm older,- I should get married first. When, when, when?"

The thing is, I know God is pulling his hair out when I act like this. I know he's thinking, "Listen! I want you to have this too! And when it's time, I'll tell you. Don't worry. I won't let you miss it!"

He wants to bless us. Don't believe me? Check out the Message version of
Jeremiah 29:11:
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out,- plans to take care of you, not abandon you. Plans to give you the future you hope for.
Yea! I love it! So my role is PATIENCE (not always an easy thing to do.) As hard as it might be to imagine, God is never late. Unfortunately, he's never early either.

My response:

Reading about the crisis in Zimbabwe is hard for us all. The suffering of those left homeless is unimaginable. I sat numb at my laptop for a while and simply cried. No praying, just crying so that I might grieve with them if only for a moment. I cannot wrap my mind around this whole ordeal, so I have tucked it into my heart.
While I don't question why God has allowed it, I know some of you have. My only response would be…it's only the middle of the movie.
Some of you have heard me use that expression before, but the rest of you are puzzled by now. Remember when we were kids, and every movie we watched had the same format? In the middle of the movie, the villain always appears to have the upper hand. If we stopped watching then, the story seems pretty bleek. But in the end, the hero...well, he's the hero. Good conquers evil.
I feel the same hold true today when I watch the news, or read the online headlines of the suffering in Zimbabwe. Men, women, and children have been abused, neglected, abandoned by their government, raped, murdered, and evicted, - yet it's only the middle of the movie. We serve a God who will be victorious.
God says in his word that there will be trouble in life, however he does not abandon us. He knows each of his children by name. He has fashioned their bones together in their mother's womb and numbered the hairs on their heads. He stands beside them even now, in the midst of their suffering, - even those who don't welcome him. And he consistently conforms those who call out to him.

"For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him, but has listened to his cry for help." Psalm 22:24

"For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men" Lamentations 3:31-33

Reading the report from Dave Ohlerking this morning left me stunned. It is inconceivable to me. As the tears flowed, I realized I didn't even know how to pray for them. So I did the one thing I knew to do in situations like these, I began to praise Him. I praised Him for His goodness, His unending love, and His righteousness. I praised Him for being
The Deliverer, The Judge of the Earth, El Roi (the God who sees), El Shaddai (God Almighty) the Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor. But most of all in the midst of all the suffering, I praised him for his promise to be victorious at the end of the movie. Love wins.
God conquers evil.

"I have told you these things, so that in me, you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Zimbabwe in Need

I know this article is long, but please take the time
to read it and pray for the children there and the
mission efforts. It'll be very hard to read, expect
some tears, but know that it's okay to greive with
them. The graphic part is forewarned so you can skip
that part if you need to.
If you haven't heard, Zimbabwe has been going through
some political chaos resulting in homes being
demolished and 250,000-1.5 million people being made
homeless. ( That was the estimate I heard a month
ago.)
The government has order the distrucion of urban
areas. Either you can tear down your own home, or
they will do it for you and charge you a fee. The
govenment claims it's because "crimials and riff-raff"
live in these areas and it will make the the cities
safer. However outsiders recognize that is was these
urban areas that had the highest voting for the
opposition in the last election. And the government
might have ordered this as punishment or to prevent
the organization of a revolt. Either way, hundreds of
thousands of men women and children are homeless,
suffering and dying in the winter weather.
This is an article written by Dave Ohlerking, head of
Children's Cup International. (the group I'll be going
to Africa with in the spring.) They serve in
Swaziland, Zimbabwe, and Veitnam.
thank you
christy






Read on only if you can open your heart
to know about some unthinkable
human suffering.


-Dave


For two decades Zimbabwe has been a profoundly
emotional part of my life. People close to me feel
like in my mind I live there. And now the grief is
even deeper than tears.


Following are some excerpts from the secular press
that tell part of the story.


From the Sunday Telegraph (UK) 19 June 2005:


“It (Zimbabwe) is a wasteland. Street after street
razed in a scene that looks like a natural disaster.
The hundreds of thousands who have been left homeless
call if ‘Zimbabwe’s Tsunami’. But man, not nature, is
to blame for the destruction enveloping this country.”


At a time when inflation is 500% and unemployment is
80%, tens of thousands try to get money for food by
informal street vending. A government crackdown has
bulldozed vender stalls and shacks where thousands of
unemployed displaced persons seek shelter. The article
continues:


“Veronica is an elderly widow who is critically ill
herself, she has three young grandchildren from her
dead daughter. Her home is destroyed.


“Some people came to Veronica and said, ‘Sister, there
are two people who are dying. Please come. One of
them, Mary, who is out in the open all night (in
freezing temperature) lying on an old damp mattress
can’t move with pain, she has [wounds] which are open
and bleeding. What is worse—her tears or her bleeding
wounds? [A paralyzing thought.]


“Anne had delivered a baby a week ago, she is
critically ill and is on the verge of death. What is
going to happen to her baby?”


From the LA Times by Robyn Dixon


“At dawn, Gatawa, 27, sat amid the chaos and panic
cradling her dying baby, with not the vaguest idea how
to save her. At 8 in the morning, Nyasha’s eyes closed
and no amount of rocking, hugging or nursing would
bring her back. It is winter in Zimbabwe, and the
mother believes she died of cold.


“Roads across the country are packed with homeless
people pushing handcarts filled with their
possessions. Once they arrive, they are greeted by the
chronic hunger and unemployment that plague rural
Zimbabwe, and village chiefs often tell them to go
back where they came from.


“Dominican nuns were ordered to tear down a day center
they had set up for 120 orphans. The nine-room center
had a clinic where anti-retroviral drugs for HIV/AIDS
were administered. The patients, many of them
children, are now scattered.”


My soul-deep commitment to Zimbabwe began in 1985.


HISTORY


In the mid-eighties I watched as the number of
refugees fleeing into Zimbabwe to escape the war in
Mozambique grew to more than 250,000. I directed
programs that moved as much as 65,000 tons of food and
commodities into the five refugee centers set up by
the government. In those years I applauded the
Zimbabwean government for being a “good neighbor” to
the hurting Mozambicans. And maturing government
policies were allowing the nation’s production and
economy to recover dramatically from the war that
changed Rhodesia into Zimbabwe. The first time a staff
member and I went into the camp called Tongogara they
assigned a government agent to go everywhere with us
to be sure we didn’t give people Bibles or talk about
Jesus. Over the next few months our projects saved
thousands of lives with food and medical care. We
watched the general security and health of the
refugees improve to the point government officials
commended us and even relaxed restrictions on overt
Christian ministry to the people. One very effective
ministry arose from the need for crowd control during
the clinic operations. Hundreds of people would be
milling around trying to be the next ones to get into
the clinic for treatment. There was obviously a need
for crowd control. We got permission for staff members
to settle the crowd by teaching them songs. Africans
love to sing. Hearing a crowd of Africans sing is
thrilling and soul-stirring. You’ve already guessed we
taught them Gospel songs. They sang the Gospel into
their own hearts!

Earlier we had asked permission to build a church in
the camp. “No way,” the officials responded. “When you
build a church that’s when the fights start.” (Isn’t
that a sad indictment on Christians?) But those same
officials had noted how our ministry had calmed the
camp and solved many matters of inmate discontent. “It
might be good if you did build a church—we’ll even
give you a place for the pastor to live.” Are you
remembering Jesus’ declaration, “I will build my
church…”? Carpentry, masonry, fabric dying, and
garment-making training projects gave thousands of
refugees skills that would let them earn a living.
Then when the war ended in Mozambique our team helped
truck the refugees and their possessions back to their
former home areas. Please note and rejoice with us: So
many refugees had come to Christ in the camp that when
they resettled back in Mozambique they instantly
formed into 16 new churches and preaching points! But
just as soon as the refugee crises was over a new and
even more sinister wave of needy ones came to the
former refugee centers for shelter and help—AIDS
orphans and vulnerable children--OVC in United Nations
parlance. Since 1996 the number of OVC that Children’s
Cup provides for has risen to as many as 1500. Food,
education, clothing, shelter, skills training, and
most of all the Gospel have changed these young lives.
In the late 1980’s was being called an African success
story. It produced enough food to export. Commerce
matured. Churches flourished. Hope was building.


PRESENT


Now everything has changed. Laws and policies were set
in place that deconstructed the society and its
economy. If you have access to the Internet I
encourage you to read newspapers of Zimbabwe. Go to
the UNAIDS site and read what is happening. And the
plight of the OVC only worsened. New laws and policies
are trying to close all avenues of humanitarian help
for the OVC. Zimbabwe has become one of the most
dangerous places in the world to live or travel.
Travel is mortally risky. A fellow missionary and
three other humanitarians have been murdered at
roadblocks. Ben and I had our truck disabled and we
were robbed by a gang of thugs. Attempted break-ins at
our staff housing in Harare occur almost every
night—if the intruders make it into the house
unthinkable things happen to the women and children.


Stop reading now if you are squeamish:


A favorite terror act of the intruders’ final deed of
rape is to use a gun barrel. It is an ongoing struggle
to keep finding legal ways to get help to the OVC.


For most of our 1500 kids we are their only source of
food or medical care. If we are stopped from reaching
them, many will die. You can read the statistics.


FUTURE


We will not abandon Zimbabwe. We will do everything in
our power to keep at least our 1500 precious little
ones—most of them we have hugged and many of them we
know by name—alive and as healthy as possible. Too
many times we come right up to the end of the month
and do not have the $4000 (that’s $2.67 per month per
child) it takes for Zimbabwe for the next month. Will
you consider carrying a bit of this load with us by
taking on a one-year commitment for monthly
support—you choose the amount as God leads you—for our
Zimbabwe OVC’s?


We can’t believe God will walk away from Zimbabwe.


Neither will we walk away.

 

 







©Copyright 2005 Children's Cup

Extra grace required

I have friends in my life who are "extra-grace required" kind of people. I know you do too. It's hard to love them. Sometimes you want to ring their necks. There are times when I wish to myself that I could walk away and not be friends with them any more. But look at this great quote I found yesterday:

"When we despise something we reguard it lightly. We take no notice of it and count it as nothing. We do not take
care of it. If we don't take care of what God gives us, we lose it."
-Joyce Meyer
Now, Ms. Joyce wasn't talking about friends, but it certainly applies. When I'm angry, frustrated, or judgemental with my friends I reguard them lightly,- as if they are unimportant to my life, or worthless to the world. However I know that God loves them with all their flaws just as much as He loves me with my one or two....okay, my millions of flaws! More importantly, I have to confess the awareness that he put these people in my llife for a reason. Sometimes in my arrogance, I think it's so that they can learn something from me, but in my humility, (and in reality) it's probably so I can be sharpened, challenged, and refined. These relationships are often lessons in love, patience, endurance, self-control, peace, joy and kindness. Difficult as they are, I need them more than they need me.
So I thank you ornery friends! You mean a lot to me!

Here's to JJ and Angela...

Congrats to my friends JJ and Angela who were married on Saturday! I wish you all the best.
I think the best part of the ceremony was a quote from the groom's father, Jackie Cooper: "Love God, Love Life, and love each other as much as we love you!"

It's a Miracle!

Sometimes I think to myself, "Why doesn't God release his miracle power more often? If he really wanted to impress people, and win lots over in faith, why doesn't He just send more of his children out, curing all kinds of diseases, and prophesies over non-believers, and part the Red Sea again and burning some bushes or that kinda thing. That would really impress people and they would have no choice to believe!"
While I know that healings and prophecy still exists, (I've seen them) they are rarely covered by the media and are often explained away by non-believers. I just think if God sent a worker with a strong anointing on TV, and lots of people witnessed it… they couldn't help but believe. Right?
Well…er…no. Sometimes I talk myself out of my own good ideas
Many non-believers view ministers like these as quacks or frauds, and parts of the church teach that some gifts no longer exist. But even in the event of a major revolution of our American ideology, I see in scripture (sigh) that it still wouldn't be enough.
In John 12 we see Jesus riding into Jerusalem and the crowd comes running to greet him:
The next day, the news that Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem swept through the city. A huge crowd of Passover visitors took palm branches and went down the road to meet him. They shouted, "Praise God! Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord. Hail to the King of Israel!"
…Those in the crowd who had seen Jesus call Lazarus back to life were telling others all about it. That was the main reason so many went out to meet him-because they had heard about this mighty miracle. (12-18)

They'd heard about his miracles and wanted to see him for himself. They waved their palm branches, and sang songs, praised him, and called him the Messiah. Sounds like they were believers to me!
But when I read on, I see:

But despite all the miraculous signs he had done, most of the people did not believe in him. This is exactly what Isaiah the prophet had predicted. (V.37)

The hype of the miracles was enough to capture their attention, but without the personal encounter with him, it was not enough to hold it very long. The crowd who hailed his arrival in the city is the same crowd who turned against him a few days later. It almost seems as though miracles made no difference to the witnesses at all. But upon close examination, I see a very different story unfold in the same book of John, just a few pages back.
In the story of the woman at the well, Jesus prophesized over the Samaritan woman, who then went and told just about every one in town. The people of the village came out to see him, and "They begged him to stay at their village." Similar beginning to the Jerusalem story, but…

So he stayed for two days, long enough for many of them to hear his message and believe. Then they said to the woman, "Now we believe because we have heard him ourselves, not just because of that you told us. He is indeed the Savior of the world." John 4:40.

What's the difference? They weren't just caught up in the hype and the excitement, the gossip or TV cameras, - they had a personal encounter with Jesus himself.
I'm seeing that the same hold true for mankind, 2000 years later. It is within the hearts of those who have had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ where faith grows. No amount of media hype, testimonies, miracle witnessing, or movie watching, will touch the spirit within us until we have experienced him for ourselves.

Is a Nickle Enough?

Her name was Kathryn and it was well known that she was her daddy's little girl. James Buckingham told one of their stories in his book Daughter of Destiny.

"Kathryn, do you remember when you were a little girl and you would stand behind me while I read the paper. You'd say, 'Papa, gimme a nickel.' I would tease you, sitting there pretending like I didn't hear you. You'd keep asking and eventually I'd dig in my pocket and hand you a nickel. Do you remember?
Kathryn, who had just begun her ministry in Denver, smiled and nodded her head. "Yes, papa, I remember."
"There's something you didn't know, baby. I loved you so much that I would have given anything you asked. You just limited yourself because all you wanted was a nickel."

This precious little girl in the presence of her loving father, had limited herself, simply because she didn't know to ask for more. He would have given her anything she'd asked, but naively, she was content to have so much less.
Today, my name is Kathryn, and I've awakened to find that I've only been asking for nickels from my adoring father. Because of his abounding love and unlimited grace he will give me anything I ask for in his Son's name.
So today Father, I step boldly before the throne of God and ask for more of YOU.
I ask for a stronger awareness of your presence, and all the blessings you have in store for me.
I ask for your full anointing on my life Lord. I know your word says that when the spirit gives, he does not ration his power, but gives it in full measure, pressed down, shaken together, filled 'till overflowing.
Lord I ask to receive your discerning wisdom so that I'm guided down the path of life.
I ask for assistance in exercising the fruits of your Spirit that you have already given to me. Help me to live in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
I ask for a continual sense of the presence of your Holy Spirit in my life. I ask for a greater understanding of his gifts and a stronger anointing as I step out in faith to serve your children.
I ask for an insatiable hunger for your Word, that I will read and read and never feel satisfied with the amount I've learned. And that it will be hidden within my heart and rise up within my spirit to encourage, educate, or edify myself and others.
I ask to be put in the path of those who are hungry to know you, both here in America and also in Africa. Help me to discern their needs, and minister to them.
Jehovah-Jirah, I ask you for all of these things in the name above all names, your Son Jesus Christ. And I thankfully receive them, praising your name because you are a loving and gracious Father who gives anything his children ask for.

Names of God

A few months back I atteneded the Whole Woman's Day conference in Raleigh,- It was awesome. One of my break out sessions was called the Names of God. I learned so much in that hour and I had fully intended to share it with my small group, but I've just never finished polishing my notes. So while I finish that this summer, here is just a tiny tid-bit of info that I gathered!


Selected Names of God

Jehovah The LORD (YHWH) meaning 'I am who I am'. This shows the self- existent one.

Exodus 3: 13-15 Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"
God said to Moses, "I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites:' I am has sent me to you.'"

Jehovah-Jireh The Lord will provide
Jireh means 'see' as in "I'll see to it."
Genesis 22: 13 Abraham looked up and there in the thicket he saw a ram caught by its horn. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said "On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided"

Romans 8:32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Philipians 4:9 And God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Matt 6:8-11 Do not be like them, for your Father Knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray:
Our Father in heaven
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come, your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.

Jehovah-Nissi The Lord is my banner
Nissi- a signal or a flag to symbolize a rallying point. Significant for soliders in a battle

Exodus 17:15 Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner.

Jehovah-Shalom The Lord is peace

Judges 6: 22-24 When Gideon realized that it was the angle of the LORD, he exclaimed, "Ah Sovereign Lord! I have seen the angel of the LORD face to face!" But the LORD said to him, "Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die." So Gideon built an altar to the Lord There and called it The LORD is peace.


How amazing it is that each name,shows us a little more into the character of who God is!

Hard to Imagine

Below is a blog post that Dave Ohlerking wrote recently for the Children's Cup blog. The whole thing is just a bit much for me to wrap my brain around.I love his style, his heart, and his technique,- it's not in what he says, but what he doesn't say.
I understand no one will like this blog post, but perhaps you can appreciate the raw truth of it.

(from Dave) "If God Doesn't Help Me, I'll Be Dead Tonight."
June.23.2005

I remember his panicky eyes.

His whole body was trembling.

The meeting was about to start. The man had asked to talk to one of the ministers.

I shook his hand and felt him grab hold to keep from collapsing.

“If God doesn't help me I’ll be dead tonight.”

I knew this was serious. “You came to the right place—God will meet you here tonight.”

“I don’t know if He’ll want to help me. He knows what I did to my neighbors eleven-year-old daughter.

“If I’m alive tomorrow I must face her father and the police.

“I used to serve God. I knew it was wrong, but I looked God in the eye and did it anyway.”

He collapsed against me.

I found him a seat near the altar by an altar worker. “You are doing the right thing,” I encouraged him. “Just open your heart to God during this service and I’ll meet you at the altar after the altar call."

But at the end of the service I couldn’t find him or the altar worker.

“Oh, no he’s gone—He didn’t make it.”

I wept as I pushed through the crowd to find him. Then I saw him making his way to me—he was calm and had his arms open to embrace me.

“You were right. God took me back. I know it will be hard tomorrow, but I can do it because He’ll be there to help me.”

The peace in his heart--that peace that passes understanding--was deep enough to conquer his fear of prison.

Beauty's Only Skin Deep

It was one of those glorious days, - you know the ones, when you wake up way before your alarm goes off and realize you won't have to rush? But on this day I was extra thankful because it was the first time I was scheduled to be a greeter at newhope church.

"This is perfect" I though to myself. "I can spend the extra time getting ready!" So I took my time and got myself done up right! I blew my hair out, and put it in Velcro rollers to ensure lots of body and bounce. I did my make up meticulously, even taking the time to apply concealer (a luxury my schedule never allows Monday thru Friday.) I chose some great clothes, matched all of the jewelry, picked my favorite red high heels, - I even had enough time to paint my fingernails and toenails scarlet red to match my outfit. I gave myself a once over in the mirror and decided to go back for seconds, - I was lookin' good!

Honestly, I was pleased that I'd taken the extra effort to look nice that day. "After all," I told myself "I'm the first face people will see when people come to newhope today. I want to make a nice impression." I found myself at church smiling brightly and welcoming in the trickle of early comers as they came through the door. Then I saw a new family of six making their way slowly up the sidewalk. I quickly understood that this family was unique, -both parents we blind and were being led buy their oldest son and daughter.

Once inside they introduced themselves and asked for assistance in getting to Hopetown for the children and then to the sanctuary. I led them to the elevator and then assisted them in back to worship. I sat next to them during service and then to retrieve the children and to the parking lot to wait for their ride. After spending all of that time ushering, I had had very little opportunity to actually greet that day.
I was a little annoyed by that. Then, I heard God's tiny little whisper voice speaking to my spirit. "Isn't it funny," He said, "That after all of your hard work this morning, the only people you spent time with today couldn't see you?"

Ouch!

But he was right. I'd spent so much time getting myself ready and yet hadn't even taken a moment to pray or crack a bible. My outside was beautiful but my heart had never been prepared. It was a humbling reminder that (just like mom always said) it's what's on the inside that really counts.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 reminds us that our physical bodies are getting older and weaker every day. "What we see will only last a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever." Our looks are only temporary, no matter how much we do to take care of ourselves. No amount of silk, eyeliner, or Botox will make a difference in the end.

As a Christian woman, I know there's nothing wrong in taking care of myself and making myself look nice. But as in all things, I need to make sure God is first with all other things being secondary. After all, God's word says, "Women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things the do." 1 Timothy 2:10

Will you join me on this one women? C'mon lets get ourselves done up right!

Beyond the Limits

People are often surprised to learn that I'm from Flint, Michigan. They've seen it on the news, they've heard about it from others, they've even seen footage of it in Michael Moore movies. I guess I don't fit the image of someone who would come from a town like Flint. It's viewed as poor, violent, oppressive, and hopeless. When I asked a high-school friend about living in Flint, she said, "People don't actually live in Flint...they just exist." Amen to that sister.

Perhaps if these unbelievers had known me 10 years ago, they might have thought differently. As a teenager, I figured I'd go to a community college, marry young, have a few kids, retire at 52 and spend my time sitting on the porch with the friends I'd always had. I'd go to the bowling alley for fun, consider mowing the lawn a hobby, and be content to watch one day pass after another. I'd live for myself, looking for minor amusements in the form of TV or perhaps neighborhood gossip. And best of all I'd make sure I'd always live in Flint, - after all where else was there to go?

To say it best, I had a very "Flint" mentality: My dreams were limited. Because of my finances, life experiences, and self-image, I thought I was reaping all that was available to me, and therefore was content with what I had.
I'm so thankful now, that God was not content with me settling for less than his best. His plan was to use me for so much more than I could ever dream, and He was not content to watch me sit idly by.

I love the perspective Kathryn Kuhlman had on this topic. Once, as a friend protested to holding a church meeting because the ministry only had $5, she said,
"If we serve a God who is limited by our finances, then we are serving the wrong God. He's not limited to what we have or who we are. If He can use somebody like me to bring souls into the kingdom, He can certainly use our five dollars and multiply it just as easily as He multiplied the loaves and fishes for the people on the hillside."

Glory to God! He is not limited! Lack of money, humble beginnings, poor attitude, no education, minuscule bits of self-esteem,- none of this inhibits His mighty power! No matter where we came from, or what our past has included, He is still powerful enough to use us as his instrument.

Strangely enough, The Bible says we're in good company. David, Moses, Isaac, Ruth, -even Jesus himself came to service with shadows in their past. I'm sure there was a time when others looked at them and asked, "How can you be used by God? You are an adulterer, a murderer, a swindler, a poor widow, born to an unwed mother. How can you be used by God?"

And this list of servants isn't just of biblical characters, no, no! Billy Graham, Joyce Meyer, Benji Kelley, Christy Merrill, Heidi Lyda, Heather Doss, Jennifer Halsey, Adam Livermon, Wes Pulley, Brad Livermon, and _____________(insert your name here reader) have all been called into His service regardless of hometown, education, savings account, age, or past mistakes.
When God calls us, He is fully aware of the challenges set before us in the natural realm. And yet he calls us anyway.

So what is keeping you from experiencing the full power of God, and serving Him with your life? Do you feel he can't use you because of a past addiction? Because you're not smart enough? Because you are too old? Because you've made poor choices in the past? Maybe we all need to take on Ms. Kulhman's attitude.

If we serve a God who is limited by our hometown, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by our education, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by our former drug abuse, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by our family's dysfunction, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by our age, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by our past mistakes, then we are serving the wrong God.
If we serve a God who is limited by ANYTHING, then we are serving the WRONG GOD.Please, Please, Please, reader, take Him out of the box and allow Him to show His majesty and glory in its full, unlimited power.

Sit...stay

I've been staying in Flint this week and spending a lot of time with my Dalmatian, Baby. She's big, fat and terribly disobedient but I love her, - she's my Baby. While she jumps and barks there is one thing she does well, and that is sit on command. Well, at least when she feels like doing it. I think she does so well because when we trained her to sit, we reinforced her positive behavior with doggie treats (hence her big, fat, butt.)

Stick with me now as I change thoughts; - trust me it'll all fit together in the end. A few months ago I went through a terribly silent spiritual spell (say that 10 times fast). I prayed for direction, and confirmation in several areas, but basically heard nothing from God.

Am I going in the right direction while I apply for mission opportunities in Swaziland? Silent.
Did I hear you correctly, Lord? Am I supposed to say ________ to Mrs. X? Silent.
I stepped out in faith and attempted this in you name. Did I do it right, Lord? Silent.

At times, silence is golden…these were not the times. I simply wanted confirmation to know that I was on the right track. I was trying new things and I guess I just wanted to know that I wasn't messing things up too bad. I mean, in the early days, when I was a baby Christian, I'd step out in faith and God would immediately show me if I was on the right track (like praying to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit) or on the wrong track (attempting to lead a college ministry. Not a good fit for me.) But now my faith had grown and I had come into a period where immediate confirmation was non-existent, and delayed confirmation seemed scarce.

But I heard a wonderful sermon at the River of Life church in Raleigh, NC. In a nutshell it went like this: As mature believers, we've learned to hear God's voice through His Word, prayer, and his people. And so sometimes we are expected to walk in faith alone. When we can't see immediate results we depend on faith. We have to act on what we know is true, even when we don't see the evidence. We lean heavily on what we believe instead of what we feel.

Therefore, if I feel that God isn't present, I rest in the fact that the Bible says He, "will never leave [me] nor forsake [me]". If I think that God doesn't love me, I speak aloud the scripture, "God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son…" If I think I feel God's prompting to act, I do it, even when I risk making a fool of myself.

The late Kathryn Kulhman told of a dream that illustrates this perfectly:

"I dreamed once," Kathryn had said, "of three kneeling figure. All were waiting for Jesus to pass by. As the Lord came down the path, He stopped and embraced the first figure. When He came to the second figure, He gently laid His hand on her shoulder. But when He passed the third kneeling figure, He only smiled and kept on walking.
"Someone said to the Master, 'You must love the woman you embraced more that the others.'

"'No, you don't understand,' He said gently. 'The one I embraced needs my encouragement. She is weak in the faith. The one I tapped lightly on the shoulder is stronger. But the third one, the one I merely smiled at, is strong. I never need to worry about her, for she is with me constantly.'"

This sermon and illustrations were a wonderful encouragement to me, to know that everyone goes through silent phases. I've seen that the immediate confirmation I use to experience was to "train" me and put me on the right path. Just as Baby now responds to the command she hears without the treat, I am to respond to the promptings I hear from the Holy Spirit without any further rewards. (See I told you the Dalmatian story would fit in.)


"In His silence, He speaks volumes to us. He is commanding us to wait on Him and focus our attention on His holiness. Is He only God to us when He speaks or is He still our praised Father when we see nothinghappening and we hear no voice from the heavens? We must believe that in the midst of the silence He isindeed still in control?....

Are you waiting for Him to respond yet hearing nothing and becoming frustrated because He is not answering you in the clear, loud way that you had hoped?  Maybe He is speaking to you.  He is asking you to pursue Him.  Don't pursue the solution. . .pursue the Savior! " -Priscilla Shirer