What's God like?

At the beach retreat, Rachel challenged us with this: "We are influenced by our parents, our churches, our experiences, our culture… each of these adds to, or takes away from who we come to believe God to be. Take a moment and think about this. What are the first words that come to your mind when you think about God? Perhaps a better question is, what are the second words? Behind the “Sunday school answers”, the things we profess to believe about God to fit in with the church crowd, what face does God have in your mind? Is He just waiting for you to fall one more time, and that’s it? Is he tired of you asking for the same thing, over and over? Is he withholding from you the desires of your heart until you ‘get it right’? Is he scary? Is he remote? Does he confuse you? "
Y'all I think she's right. Many of us have been trained to give the pat answer for the question. It's a knee-jerk reaction: God=Love, God=Father, God=Provider, and on and on. But what does our mind say in difficult situation? When God seems quiet? When things don't go as we expected? When life is hard?

"Yeah, that's what I thought would happen." "No, I didn't think so." "I guess I didn't really expect it to work." "If You really wanted to, You would have."

Does this paint a truer picture of who you believe God to be deep, deep, deep down in your heart? I'll be honest if you will. These thoughts have passed through my mind before.
They paint a picture of a God who isn't really for us, who can't really be depended on, who doesn't really love us. The Israelites did this in Deut 1:27 when things were tough in the dessert: "You murmured and complained in your tents and said, 'The Lord must hate us, bringing us here from Egypt to be slaughtered…"
I realized at the beach, that pieces of my image of God need to be restored. He and I have been working on it, don't worry. But it's made me wonder who else is missing out on God's complete, abundant, life (John 10:10) because deep, deep, deep in their hearts they don’t believe God could love them. Or they don't believe God is for them. Or they think God is mad at them for _____________.
It's kind of like the story of Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9. King David is looking for anyone who is related to Jonathan because he wants to poor out his love on him. He'd made a covenant with Jonathan and promised he's care for his family. Well, the only descendant left was his son Mephibosheth, living in Lo-debar. And when the servants find him and bring him before the king, he falls down trembling in fear, afraid of what will happen next. All he's thinking about is, "My granddaddy Saul was so rotten to David and tried to take the throne from him, that now he's out to get me!" He had no idea the blessings available to him because the king had a covenant with his own father. Even when David explains things, he still doesn't get it. "Should the king show such kindness to a dead dog like me?" (Vs. 8)
What blessing, am I, - are you- missing out on because we've believed these lies about God? I recognized that for every lie I've fallen for, I needed to find a scripture telling the truth of God's character to hide in my heart. That way, the next time I heard this same lie, I could dispute it with the truth of God.

John 3:16: God so loved the world that He gave his only son…
Romans 8:31: If God is for us, who can ever be against us?
Numbers 10:9: The Lord will remember you and rescue you from your enemies
Jer. 31:34 I will forgive their wickedness and nevermore remember their sins.
Ex 34:6: I am the LORD, the merciful and gracious God. I am slow to anger and rich in unfailing love and faithfulness.

Got 'em? Okay, now just for good measure look back through my archives and find Is A Nickle Enough? (June 2005) Those ideas have been speaking to me lately, and instead of re-publishing it, I can just send you there to read it. :0)

Lord Stanley says, "Y'all!!!!"

It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. the excitement and electricty of the RBC Center was tangible. We won, we won, we won!!!!!!!
The Stanley Cup has returned to the south, and it's here to stay! I say we fill it up with sweet tea, and celebrate!
As all great sporting events should have, there were lots of celebrities on hand: Tim Robins, Radio, Kid Rock,
Cuba Gooding JR.
The entire arena stayed on their feet for the entirety of the game cheering, shouting, spinning our towels. And when the final buzzer sounder, the place erupted in a furry of excitement. Grown men on the ice were shouting, crying, cheering, and hugging each other in estacy. Their wives rushed out with their children and tears in their eyes. Daddies scooped up their toddlers and skated around with them on their shoulders as parents celebrated the well earned victory with their sons. It was a very touching scene to witness,- a lot different from what they show on ESPN.
So contrats to you Hurricanes, you have truely earned the title champions!!!!

Not Bragging....

I'm not bragging. I'm not. Really. But I just got a call from James, The Coolest Ex-boyfriend In The World, and he's just picked me up a ticket to go to game 7 tonight. I"M GOING TO GAME 7 TONIGHT!!!!!!!! WOO-WHO!!!!!!! Huricanes BABY!!!! Yeah we're gonna get the cup tonight, and I'll be there to witness the whole thing!!!!!!!!
Sing with me:
C'mon
C'mon
C'mon
LET'S GO CANES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're a book not yet written.
You're a poem not yet composed.
You're a song not yet sung. You're a future not yet fulfilled.
You're a miracle not yet happened.

But I want to say to you,

You are a book that God is writing.
You are a peom tht God is composing.
You are a song that God is singing.
You are a dream that God is dreaming.
You are a dsetiny that God is completing.
You are a future that God is fultilling.
You are a miracle about to explode.

-Oral Roberts

Fasting/Feasting

On the plane home from South Africa I heard God clearly tell me I needed to fast for 10 days. Not an easy task, but I accepted His word. So upon returning I looked at my calendar and found a time that would be convenient for me to begin. June 10. The Saturday after students leave for the summer. After the hotdog picnics, after Heidi's birthday party, after the Durham Bull's game with their yummy chicken finger basket with spicy curly fries, after our sundae party, after Owen's birthday cupcakes, after Jeremiah's dinner at Champs, after Carol's retirement luncheon, and most importantly after our wonderfully catered teacher celebration on the last day of school. Yes let me get all of that feasting out of the way and then I can fast.
Well God threw a wrench into things. As I was sitting in church last Sunday, I noticed I hadn't felt hungry yet.
"Because it starts today." He whispered to me.
Crap.
I knew I heard it. I knew I had to be obedient, but I still struggled with the idea. I love food. No really, I looooooove food. And this unhealthy relationship with food has caused a lot of problems for me in the past. It really can be an idol for me if I'm not careful. And the fact that I struggled to do what God was asking me to do simply because I had a week of food laid before me, well obviously the problem is still lurking.
In the end I knew I had to submit. I told Jennifer later, "I hate being ruled by food!!! I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a taco salad tell me when I'm going to be obedient to God!"
I know it sounds silly to some of you who have never struggled with this, but to others it makes perfect sense. This is a leviathan that we need to slay daily. And so for 7 days now I've fasted and the end is in sight. But you know what? It's been almost easy. God's grace has truly been upon me and this has been the easiest fast I've ever done. I know it's only because of my submission and obedience that he as blessed me this way. Still, I'm sad all of that glorious food has come and gone and I missed it …or have I?
No, I've decided in the quiet of my peaceful house today I'm going to have a feast. Yes, a full on feast. I'm going to have meat (John 4:31), bread (John 6:35) with honey (proverbs 24:3), milk, (1 Peter 2:20) nine kinds of fruit, (Galatians 5) and lots of water (John 7:37)
Bon Appetite!!!!!

schools out...

It is 6:10 am and I'm sitting here with rollers in my hair pondering weather or not to wear high heels. Today is the last day of school. Did you hear me? The LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! Oh praise God! I made it.

The Strangest Love-Name Ever...

At the beach retreat Rachel challenged us to seek out our love name, the name that God calls us intimately. I've been praying about that, wondering how He sees me, and how does he preciously adore me? It makes me think about this picture I found.

When I found this online something resignated within me, and I just smiled. I'm that little rhino. Maybe it's the joy in it's baby steps I relate to. Maybe it's the comfort in a parent's protection, (perhaps it's the fat saggy bottom I relate to) but I simply fell in love with this photo.

I fell in love with rhinos while I was in Swaziland. They are gentle, yet powerful. And I already knew the scoop about them.
Do you know what a group of rhinos is called? No, not a herd. A Crash. Yes, a crash of rhinos. And named appropriately so. They weigh up to 4975 lbs, and run up to 25 miles an hour (not sure how many kilometers that is.) Yet they can only see a short distance in front of them. So what do they do? They run full speed ahead. No worries. They know with that much power behind them other things either get out of the way, or get trampled on. No harm to the rhino.
And it seems as I look back over my life that I've been required to do that a lot. God has set me in a direction and expected me to run with all my might, never knowing what is ahead of me. But when I recognize His power is behind me, nothing has stood in my way.

So my love name? I haven't quite heard it yet, I'm still feeling it out and I know I'm getting close. But it's something like "joyous rhino." What do you think about that Sparkles the Lamb?